WHO KNOWS WHAT

My girl

2012-02-11T21:57:00.001-06:00

2012-02-11T20:38:00.001-06:00

Josh and I went to a marriage seminar this weekend. It was pretty entertaining.
Nothing we haven't heard before but good reminders.

In other news, Whitney Houston died. :(

2012-02-08T13:36:00.003-06:00

We have started a family gratitude journal. We are going to fill up this book with all the little and big gifts God has given us. I have enjoyed seeing it out on the bar and everyone adding to it every day. It does bring joy to thank God for everyday things He has blessed us with.
My ailment seems to be healing, slowly. I still have 3 days left of these antibiotics, so we'll see if I'm completely better then.
I finally booked tickets to Thailand for Jordan and I for right after her graduation. That was not easy, and I work for a travel agency! Just trying to find the right combinations of flights and prices is tedious. Travel agents don't get any discount at all either, it just helped to know my way around the sites.
So we're going from Austin-San Francisco-Hong Kong-Singapore-Chiang Mai, Thailand. Our longest flight leg is 14 hours, with a total of 24 hours actual flying time, excluding layovers, to get there. Yikes. Pretty similar to Africa, just the opposite side of the globe. Then returning we substitute South Korea for Hong Kong. And we stay overnight in Singapore.
Oh, and on the way I get to visit my friend Heather in San Francicso for the day :)
Going to be quite an adventure for the two of us!

2012-02-06T11:18:00.001-06:00

Today I am thankful for these two books. They are changing my life.

Handcrafted jewelry made with love in Uganda

2012-02-03T15:37:00.001-06:00

amazima.org

This organization was started by a very young American woman who simply wanted to do what it commands us to do in the Bible. Feed the hungry, and care for the orphans. She left the states and has made her home in Uganda caring for thousands of children and has even adopted 14 of her own. In addition to starting this amazing non profit, she has taught a trade of making necklaces to the women of the village. Please buy one in support of them and also read her book, it's an inspiration, but also very convicting. If she can do all this between the ages of 19 and 22, I can only imagine what her future holds.

2012-02-02T18:19:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I know I'm no saint and everyone has their flaws, especially me. But since I'm in a cranky, stressed out mood this week, I'm gonna rant, cause I can. These are my personal pet peeves that seem to occur almost daily around me.

*People who are perpetually late. It is inconsiderate and disrespectful of other peoples time.
*People who say they will do something, and then don't. They may have some generally lame excuse, but really, they just didn't do it. I would so much rather you just be honest and say "Hey, I'm not really going to do that, even though you asked me to, or I volunteered, so you might as well do it yourself" rather than me having to continually wonder. At least it's honest.
*People who perpetually procrastinate. Not naming names, but come on, you CAN see a little bit into the future when things tend to happen at the same time every week and month, no?
*People who drive below 50 MPH on 1431! Come on people it's 65!!! Why do you do this EVERY day?? WHY?? I don't understand.
*People who meander and take up an entire aisle. Whether it be with your grocery cart inside, or in the parking lot outside. Move OVER! Pick a side!
This is just from today. I could go on and on, but my blood pressure is starting to elevate. I need to go do something else.

*** a few minutes later, ok, great, now I have guilt. The last 2 posts have been me spewing my venom. Not encouraging is it? I apologize. I promise to get my act together and the next one will be uplifting. Everyone has their days, right?

2012-02-01T14:26:00.000-06:00

I had my follow up dr visit today. I am angry and upset. Not only am I not healed, but I have to start a new 10 day antibiotic treatment. Trying yet a different drug. The hell I went through a week ago wasn't enough. The $400 I spent on dr visits and drugs wasn't enough. Today was another $250 thanks to my wonderful government. So now EVERYONE can afford healthcare, except those of us in the middle class who can now no longer afford the health plan we used to be able to afford 3 years ago. But instead we are forced to go to the high deductible plan where we have to pay for everything in this ridiculously high priced world of medicine. Now WE are going broke. And because my stupid body has turned on me and won't heal, I am even more broke this week! Not just in the wallet, but in spirit. Lovely.
I cried all the way home.

2012-01-29T15:07:00.002-06:00

2012-01-27T14:41:00.000-06:00

Feeling much better; not 100%, but better.

2012-01-24T10:33:00.000-06:00

I'm still here. It was a rough weekend. The pain has gone down in intensity, it's the side effects of the meds that are bothering me. I had to switch to a different drug on Saturday because the world wouldn't stop spinning. This new one is better, but still not pleasant. I'm afraid it may not be enough though, cause he said the pain would be gone after 3 days and it's not. Side effect of switching drugs mid course maybe? Going to finish this round before worrying about it.
God is in control, not me.

Random facts:
*Ok, so on our girls cruise in March we(Jordan and I) are doing a dolphin swim. I'm kinda excited about that.
*I am so thankful for my husband.
*Here in ATX, I think we have decided to skip winter.
*I am so thankful my new crockpot arrived. I will celebrate today by making a roast.
*I got a bunch of Carnival "schwag" when we went to visit the Magic Inaugural in Galveston, and well, I didn't want it, it's a bunch of useless crap with their logo on it taking up space in my closet. So I decided to sell it on ebay. Oh MY!! These people love that stuff! I sold all of it and made like $120! Makes me want to see what else I can dig up.
*I am so thankful for a good nights sleep last night. Sometimes it's the little things..

2012-01-18T16:33:00.001-06:00

Oh what a night..
I laid down to go to sleep and was struck with this horrible pain in my lower left abdomen. No matter how I positioned myself I couldn't get rid of it. By about 2 or 3AM I was seriously considering going to the ER, but I didn't want to leave the girls home alone. I watched the clock slowly roll on and around 5am I made an online appointment with my doctor. Around 8 am the pain finally let up enough to fall asleep. But I was awakened by my dr's text scheduling an appt for 1:30pm. So I am on about 2 hours sleep. Went in, and he thinks it's what I suspected, a flare up of diverticulitis. I had this once before years ago. He decided to skip the testing since I told him I'd had it before, and he went straight for the hardcore antibiotics. 2 different kinds of them, 6 pills a day for 2 weeks. The side effects listed on these things almost seem worse than the pain. (They include psychotic episodes, haha) But the risk of my colon rupturing is much worse. He said about 1 in 20 rupture during a flare up, and rupture is very bad. I can't run or exercise(risk of rupture or a torn tendon), have to eat bland foods, and not a sip of alcohol or I'll immediately throw up(not a problem, just amusing). And if the pain doubles or triples all of a sudden, I must rush to the ER.
I'm so glad Josh is on his way home to me. :)
Please join me in prayer that not only does my colon not rupture, but that it heals and never breaks down again. Also that I won't have really bad side effects to these drugs. Thanks friends.

2012-01-17T22:22:00.000-06:00

My beloved crockpot bit the dust. When I went to put dinner in this morning before heading to work, I found a huge crack in the pot. Boo. I use this bad boy several times a week. They just don't make them like they used to. This was crockpot number 2 in my home. The first one lasted a very long time, this one only 2 years. Oh well, new one is already ordered and on the way. Can't do without it.

Did I seriously just blog about a crockpot?? When did I become Betty freakin Crocker??
What is happening to me ?!?

In other news, Josh will be boarding a plane in just a few hours for his journey home :)

2012-01-16T16:51:00.000-06:00

Today I ran for the first time since before the holidays. This was a mistake. I have been suffering with headaches and dizziness for a little over a month probably due to allergies and such. Well this just made it 100x worse. I thought my head would explode. So as soon as I returned and could see straight, I made another dr's appointment. Last time I went he said I had an infection. And while taking the antibiotics, I did feel much better. But after a week it was back.
Minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things.
I want my husband back.

2012-01-14T17:33:00.000-06:00

I know I'm not blogging. I'm depressed. I HATE Josh being gone. I don't function properly. It's kinda like walking around in a daze for some reason. The only thing I can think to do is read or clean during the day and watch chick flicks with the girls at night. Except Michael's here for the long weekend, so that nixes the last half of my plan.
I guess this means we're co dependent. (He keeps sending me sad messages too.) There are worse things to be with your spouse. We've been married 19 years, that's a long time.
My fingers sting and they're all dried out from bleach and other cleaning supplies. And yet, somehow, the house still isn't clean. It doesn't look all that different. Maybe that's a sign of a really dirty house. Or maybe not, I don't know anymore.
Going back to it now, cause yeah, I have nothing intelligent to say..

2012-01-10T23:08:00.000-06:00

Josh is in Germany :(
Hannah got her drivers permit :)

2012-01-04T22:20:00.001-06:00

Service tonight was pretty amazing. We did a lot of worship, had communion, and had a prayer and prophecy time with the prayer team and staff. I went and visited with Pat, my mentor from a couple of years ago, and told her I was asking for wisdom and direction for this next phase of my life. She started praying over me and said a bunch of wonderful things about me and my steadfast-ness, and then said this -
"In this next season of life God is going to deliver a surprise package and it will be something greater than you even imagined. It will put into play all of your past so that what you've experienced will not be wasted. " She was even surprised when she finished, indicating it wasn't from her.
Change is coming in 2012. Joe says this communion, and our relationship to Jesus will need to be strong enough to sustain us through this year. I felt like that meal was the beginning of a new life. I need to grow some stronger, deeper roots, so that I will not be shaken, no matter what comes my way.

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2012-01-04T12:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday sucked. That's all I have to say about that.
Today we went to UT to get Jordan's passport renewed with no wait! Unheard of, so glad to have found this little gem of a place. And then...
Jordan accepted her offer of admission to A&M Galveston, and preregistered for the new student conference, and I put down a housing deposit. This is getting way too real and official... Like, really freaking out. My child is really going. I'm sure you'll hear me whine even more as the months go by, so prepare yourself. Let me say something else, it's freakin expensive to send your kids to college! Just today I shelled out 75 for the conference fee, and 300 for the housing deposit. That's just today! 15k per year plus food and gas and whatever else she will need. It's a great deal compared to other schools, but is still alot of money. I don't have a spare 1200 a month. I filled out the FAFSA (financial aid forms) and according to them we have tons of money rolling in. They only ask for income, not expenses, so we're ruled out on need based on that. Hopefully she will be considered for aid based on merit. She has exceptional grades and great test scores. Otherwise we'll have one heck of a loan.

Breathing in deeply....... exhale slowly.....

2012-01-02T13:07:00.001-06:00

This has been a very low key start to the year. I finished my Hunger Games trilogy, and haven't done a whole lot else. Everyone is enjoying the laziness of the last few days of vacation before the chaos begins again. Michael goes back to Waco this coming weekend, and then the reality of school hits hard. Jordan's last semester, Hannah in drivers ed. Let the fun begin! It will be a whirlwind of applying for financial aid and scholarships, doing college paperwork, teaching Hannah to drive, Jordan's birthday cruise in March. Prom in April. Then graduation and hopefully Thailand in May. Lots of schoolwork in there. And Josh starts his travel year by going back to Berlin in a couple of weeks. Oh, and I have to go back to work tomorrow.
I know this semester will fly by, but I will try and enjoy every last second of it. I will miss this all too soon.

2011-12-31T16:59:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of this year we were looking for a car for Jordan, and she had a crush on Michael. Hannah had just started playing keys in youth, and my mom had renal failure and I began testing to be a donor.
Now, Jordan obviously has a car, and has Michael. Hannah is still playing keys in youth, and just today was asked to play lead keys on Sunday morning in the adults services to fill in for someone who is sick. She is VERY excited and she knows it's an honor to be trusted with such a responsibility. She has come so far this year in her talent. And has even added guitar to her list of skills. And my mom, is on the road to complete healing. No donor necessary.
God is good, all the time.
I am thankful for a year of progression. And am hesitantly excited about 2012. It will be a big year. Hannah will turn into a driver, Jordan and I should be going to Thailand, and then late summer, we have to face sending her off to college. Can't say I'm excited about that part. But God has been all over this year, as He will the next. I think the coming year will force us all to grow in every area, especially growing closer to Him.
I'm grateful for all of you and hope you have a blessed New Year.

<3 Shileen

2011-12-30T21:26:00.003-06:00

We went to my moms cabin in Utopia today, to go shooting. Josh and I and the girls and Michael met up with Mom and Steve. We had a pretty good arsenal of guns. For the most part everyone had their weapon of choice that they excelled at. 22's, 380's, revolvers, 9mm's rifles, etc.. We girls, I have to say, can shoot! It was a very fun day and exceptionally wonderful weather for this time of year. Aside from the cedar of course.

2011-12-27T21:38:00.000-06:00

So I haven't posted in a while, like for real, a while. One, it's the holiday season, two I have been really sick. I feel like just today I came out of my sick coma. I half feel like I missed Christmas. I do remember Jordan getting ice skates and a nice underwater camera, and Hannah getting a new keyboard. I got Josh an El Capistan guitar pedal. BUT I, I got the worlds BEST beach cruiser bicycle! It is so stinkin cute.

Well I rode it today cause I couldn't stand it sitting there much longer, and that was probably a mistake. I bit off more than I could chew because I was STARTING to feel better. I rode 3 miles before nearly collapsing my sick lungs. But man, it was awesome :)

Last night some of the boys came over for the first Spurs game of the season. They won, and from the sound of it they all had a great time. But I was in bed. Trying not to die. And reading The Hunger Games. Excellent book, very captivating. I finished it, so I had to go get the 2nd one today.

Tomorrow is clean up day. Decorations are coming down.

Friday we're all going to Utopia to go shooting at my Mom's cabin. Really looking forward to that, and the weather should be beautiful. Josh is off all week and has been working on cleaning out the garage.

At the moment Josh is helping Chase root his Nook(that sounds funny), then we're watching Apollo 18.

So goodnight to all, and I hope you've had a Merry Christmas. I'll talk to you before New Years for my final post of the year before shipping this thing off for its annual printing.

2011-12-24T00:47:00.001-06:00

2011-12-22T15:07:00.001-06:00

Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done,
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen

2011-12-17T10:21:00.000-06:00

Took the girls and some friends to see the lights in Johnson City last night

2011-12-16T12:22:00.000-06:00

My favorite tree. This is why I planted it.

2011-12-14T10:18:00.002-06:00

Had fun with my girls and the fog yesterday

Birthday was kinda crazy with the weather, Josh being sick, and being in a car wreck. We were sitting at a stop light waiting for it to turn green when all of a sudden we hear these tires locking up and skidding, then all of a sudden, wham! Right into the back of us, going about 20-25mph. No one was hurt, just kinda sore necks, and the girls were pretty shaken up, but it could have been alot worse. The kid that hit us was 16, and his car needed a tow truck. Ours was still drivable, just some rear end damage.

But..in addition to the wreck, and photo shoot, we also managed to go to San Marcos to find my red bowls I wanted, and had a very nice lunch and dinner and saw some pretty lights. Was a good day overall.

My beauties, on my birthday :)

2011-12-13T19:02:00.001-06:00

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-12-09T01:19:00.000-06:00

Josh and I had 2 Christmas parties to go to tonight. His company party was downtown, and they were having a sit down dinner, so we went there first, then around 10, we headed to Rene's party, still going strong, in Gtown. Had a blast, it was a great night with tons of laughs. I really needed it..

Party #2

2011-12-09T00:34:00.000-06:00

2011-12-09T00:32:00.001-06:00

Story of my life

2011-12-09T00:31:00.001-06:00

2011-12-07T17:52:00.001-06:00

There's always the possibility of tomorrow. Tomorrow things can change. Tomorrow could be better. Tomorrow could be your season. Tomorrow could be your breakthrough. Don't give up hope for a better tomorrow. When you lose your hope, you lose everything. Don't make decisions on the bad emotions of today. Your feelings today shouldn't change the decisions you've made in a calmer day. Tomorrow may be better and you would regret it.
Life goes on. Ride the roller coaster in anticipation of the next peak. It always comes, just not always today.

(added a few hours later)
Just returned from Wednesday night service where Joe preached on finishing strong. Coincidence? I think not. He says we are all influencing others and encouraging someone just by staying in the race and not giving up. He spoke directly to a group from a rehab facility and told them to walk proudly in our church, and to not be ashamed, because he is impressed at their strength and honors their commitment to stick to the plan. He also said that God would redeem their life 100 fold. I so badly wished that he was speaking that to me, but I believe the Lord was speaking to my heart through him, because I could hardly choke back the tears.

2011-12-04T21:01:00.001-06:00

8 hours of running camera, 2 hours of bowling at the 3D Christmas party, and tons of driving make for a very long day. My body hurts.
This morning right after first service, our camera 2 operator David had to take off in a hurry; we found out a few minutes later that his son had died. I believe he was in college in Houston, but he just didn't wake up this morning, they don't know why yet, just that he's gone. It was quite surreal and shocking. One minute we were having a great conversation about some good news he had gotten this week about something work related, then minutes later his son is gone. Makes you remember how your life can change in a second. Pray for the Higgins family, please.

2011-12-02T20:34:00.001-06:00

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-12-02T20:33:00.002-06:00

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-12-02T20:33:00.001-06:00

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-11-30T22:27:00.003-06:00

Spent the whole day doing set decoration, which included building and painting 5 trees. Love the group of media and production women I get to work with, we all seem to be cut from the same cloth. Hard, but productive and fun day.
Here's a cool pic from service tonight..

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-11-29T22:23:00.000-06:00

What a long day. Worked for most of the day at the agency, then finally decided to go see a dr about some illness I have. I am a stubborn patient and it takes alot to get me to go in, but when Josh started to worry, I decided it was time to go. I have been having vertigo for about 3 weeks now, along with flu like aches and pains and headaches, and a low grade fever. Today the dr said I have a bad bacterial infection in my nasal cavities. Random. NOT a sinus infection he says, but a rare infectious disease that is easily fixed with strong antibiotics. Should fix all my symptoms. Well I certainly hope he is right, cause I'm tired of being sick. Plus, his diagnosis is better than what I had come up with… either mono or a brain tumor. :) Anyways, after that I had to go to HEB, then a quick trip home to fix dinner and throw it in the crockpot before heading to church for rehearsals. I feel like I could sleep for a week. But instead, tomorrow I'm going to help decorate the stage at church for Christmas. That should be tons o fun, no really, it will :)
gtg..

2011-11-27T15:28:00.001-06:00

Any of my out of town friends live or work near an H&M store? I need this dress in a size 6..

Maybe need is a strong word, I would strongly desire this dress, and this stupid store doesn't have online ordering.. :)

2011-11-26T09:57:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my husband Josh. I am so thankful for you! And Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
And congrats to Joe and Lisa!

It's the most, busiest, time of the year.. 3 birthdays down, and one to go, mine, and of course Christmas in less than a month. Definitely my favorite season. It just gets a little expensive with everyone's bday in this house being within 6 weeks of each other, and being right before Christmas.
I didn't plan that very well...

Happy 15th Birthday Hannah!!!

2011-11-20T17:23:00.000-06:00

Can't believe my baby girl is 15!!!! She is beautiful, sweet, helpful, compassionate and incredibly TALENTED! In addition to her amazing piano skills, she is picking up guitar at a lightning pace.. Oh, and she got to sing front line vocals this morning in all 3 adult services! So proud of my baby girl.

2011-11-19T18:06:00.000-06:00

Picture from my brothers wedding last night... more to come, ... of the actual bride and groom :)

2011-11-17T23:10:00.001-06:00

For as long as I can remember I have gone to Junior League Christmas Affair on this day with my friend Sarah. Except the last 2 years. We kind of fell apart when I, well, fell apart.
So anyways, today I decided I didn't want to miss it so I was going to go by myself. I whined and cried quite a bit to God on the way. Not that it was His fault, but that I was just sad to have lost yet another relationship.
So I get to the place, walk in, turn the first corner, and guess who I see? Of course it's Sarah! We were both so excited to see each other and immediately decided to hang together today and to never let the tradition falter another year.
God is so good to me.

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-11-15T21:28:00.001-06:00

My brother is in town for my other brothers wedding on friday, so tonight we got together for a family dinner down south, followed by a family talk that was long overdue. It was a good night.
Thankful today for family. They love you no matter what, just as Jesus does. He loves us through the good, bad and downright ugly. I've learned recently that this is the real meaning of love. It is not conditional, it is not based on how you feel on any given day or your circumstance. It is either born by blood or chosen, then strengthened, through time, but it does not go away. In the same way, God will never leave us nor forsake us, because HE is love.

2011-11-14T19:06:00.000-06:00

I think I may have caught something on board. I have been feeling progressively worse all day, and right now I feel positively dreadful.
:(

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-11-14T18:32:00.001-06:00

Found this pic on Carnivals site today...if you look at the bow of the ship I'm standing to the right of the flags, above that microphone :)

2011-11-13T22:29:00.000-06:00

Spent the day and about to spend the night on board the new Carnival Magic doing what they call a ship inspection, in Galveston. Part of my job. Rough, I know, but someone has to do it. Maroon5 put on a show and are rumored to be sleeping on board the ship. So completely cool. We (meaning me, Debby, and thousands of other travel agents) are having a blast.

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-11-11T16:36:00.002-06:00

Thank you to all who have served, and are serving. I honor you.

2011-11-08T10:01:00.000-06:00

It has been a really long time since I was a ballerina, but I miss it. I want so badly to twirl on my toes and glide across a wooden stage right now. I remember vaguely how my toes used to hurt so bad at the end of practice, and how I was seemingly always turning my ankle, and also how my lower back hurt. But it was worth it. There was nothing like it. I remember how important and grown up I felt when I got to wear toe shoes for the first time. I remember the way they smelled, and the little pads you put around your toes to cushion the wood tips when you're spinning on the top of your toes. I loved the uniforms and tights and skirts. It's such a beautiful art form.
I really love dancing, and I wish I had the time, energy and talent for it now.

2011-11-06T19:03:00.004-06:00

TEXT: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and then got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken she could not get her keys into the ignition. She tried and tried and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she wondered why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter where four men were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman described a white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
If you're gonna have a senior moment, go big.

2011-11-03T15:02:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I, along with most of the Celebration church production team, were invited to help out at an all day photo shoot for the Story Conference for 2012. It was a long, exhausting day, but a honor to be invited, and fun to get back into something creative.
Every time I think I'm leaving it, it comes back to me.
At the end of the day we were supposed to shoot a cemetery scene with smoke and strobes and the whole thing, but we were late and there was no one to let us in, so we just jumped the fence and hauled all our gear over this thing, except the generators, which we left on the sidewalk outside. Crazy wild shoot I won't soon forget. Here are some pics I took on my phone, and others people took with me in them..

Matt Garner - " Story location 2 - Great shot...on your phone! Shileen Elizabeth Hollis Karnes photographer extraordinaire."
Kip Farrar - "Amazing! Shileen Elizabeth Hollis Karnes is brilliant. "

2011-11-01T14:57:00.001-05:00

I just found out that my best friend from my 'former life' became a grandma this weekend. If I weren't such a screw up I'd have been there with her.
R - if you still read this, first of all, congratulations! (I can't believe we're old enough for these things to start happening. )
Second - I'm sorry I'm not there with you celebrating this joyous occasion. It breaks my heart all over again.

When you commit a sin so great that you forever live with all the consequences it's really hard not to get down on yourself. Even being forgiven and loved again can't take away the long term consequences. I feel helpless that there's nothing I can do to change it either. No amount of good I do can undo the bad.
I miss being respected and trusted.
I miss having close friends. Seems these days, all the new ones keep disappearing. There's nothing like being known by someone, for a long time. I desire it again so much.
I miss being excited about my work.
I feel like I'm aging, but not progressing. It's a scary sensation.
And the worst part is, it's all my fault. No one but myself to blame. Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince yourself you're good? When all evidence is contrary?
If I can't convince myself, I have no hope. Why invest in the future of someone that's been labeled defective.

Sorry folks, just one of those days I suppose, when I remember what I've done

2011-10-28T18:43:00.001-05:00

Happy 18th birthday to my fabulous firstborn!!!

For her gifts we got her a ticket on the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Cruise, and also some pearl earrings and a purse. Michael brought her a huge thing of roses and a diamond heart necklace. We got to take her to lunch and shopping, now Michael has taken her for the evening. For the rest of us, it's pizza and game 7 of the World Series..

Ladies!

2011-10-27T15:28:00.001-05:00

Grab a girlfriend and get away next March for a long weekend trip to Mexico. You can go for around $500 per person. Where else can you get that kind of price for a vacation?? Only a few days left to put down your deposit and secure your cabin. Final payment not due until January. Email me(shileen at 3dcruiseandtravel.com), call me, something!! I will be on this boat! That's incentive enough! (j/k, j/k) Seriously, come join us, it will be a ton of fun..

2011-10-25T23:26:00.001-05:00

I met a sweet old man while working the travel booth today. I asked him if he wanted to go on vacation and he said he'd love to but he won't leave his wifes side, and she is in a nursing home. As if that wasn't enough to make me tear up, we then got into a conversation about him being a Vietnam vet. Near the end of our conversation I thanked him for his service, and then he turned back to me and said, "thank you, but when I came home from the war, they spit on us and threw trash on us, treated us like dirt." I was horrified to say the least, and not knowing quite what to say, I apologized and said that wouldn't have happened on my watch. He smiled and thanked me again, then left. I can't even imagine the pain they went through, to come back home to that response. It sickens me. I LOVE our fighting men and women. I honor them for their courage, and for laying it all on the line to protect us. How could anyone not honor them? I don't care how you felt about the war, they are US soldiers who defended our right to live free. They should be the most honored among us.
Sorry for the rant, but that man will stick with me for a long time, he totally broke my heart.

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2011-10-25T19:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, senior year is really expensive. I guess it's to prepare us for the even greater expense of college. All the college application fees, dorm deposit, camp, graduation fee, cap, gown, etc, senior pics, prom, dress for prom, senior trip, good grief it's out of control. I need another job.
Michaels meeting with his parents went really well. He's actually going to apply to law schools in Houston. His mom insists he chase her down there so he can marry her eventually. Apparently she LOVES Jordan and doesn't want him to lose her. She has good taste, I like her already :) So she'll only be alone down there for a little over a year. That makes me feel a little bit better about the whole thing, but not really.

2011-10-22T17:37:00.002-05:00

Had a great time in downtown Austin today with Josh, Michael and the girls. City wide garage sale, lunch, Texas book fair at the capitol, Amy's pumpkin ice cream, and then Music Makers, where we purchased Hannah's first guitar. It's a month early, but when you find the 'right' one, you buy it or it will be gone .

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Hannah's first guitar. Early 15th bday present, she's very happy :)

2011-10-22T16:50:00.001-05:00

2011-10-21T16:28:00.001-05:00

One of the proudest moments of a homeschool parents career. The day your first child gets their first college ACCEPTANCE LETTER!!!!!!!!!!! This one is for A&M Galveston. (marine biology)
So proud of my girl Jordan, she has worked so hard for this. Oh happy day! :)

2011-10-19T09:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, since I'm so bad at remembering to blog, I'm gonna give you declutter friends the whole weeks list.
spice cupboard, refrigerator, office desk/drawers, and nighstand drawers.

My daughter is sick, I have to go

2011-10-17T12:47:00.004-05:00

For those following the declutter plan - today is your bedroom dresser drawers, and this includes all the stuff on TOP of your dresser :)

So this weekend the sweet young couple got into their first "disagreement". He has been harassing her about A&M, calling it a lousy school, etc.., basically trying to convince her she doesn't want to go there. (because it's too far away from him in Waco) Well she finally had enough of it and let him have it. She said this is where I want to go, where I need to go for her major, and he needs to be supportive. After a kind of rough weekend, he went back to Waco in a foul mood. He called later and apologized, saying he was just scared of losing her. So he's decided to follow her down there. He's going to check into getting his MBA at Rice or another Houston area college. That way he can be less than an hour from her in Galveston. But his dad will not be happy, and he's the one writing the checks. However, his mom adores Jordan and will hopefully convince his dad to support the move.
Pretty heavy stuff they're having to deal with so early in their relationship. They have to make huge decisions about their future together. I think it really finally hit him that if he wants to be with her he will be living on the beach somewhere most of his life. His previous plan was to take over the family business in Georgetown, which he doesn't want to and can't do anymore if he wants to be with her.
I don't envy him right now, but I think Jordan's worth it. Apparently he does too.

2011-10-15T22:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, sorry guys about the week long absence. This garage sale business really messed with my progress. I am so glad it's over. I promise to start up on the second half of our declutter party Monday morning. We need to finish getting our house in shape for the holidays. Tomorrow I'm on camera 1 most of the day, then we have to try and find a way to get this bird out of our house. It flew in friday night and has been stuck ever since. We can't ever find it long enough to try and catch it...

Jor and Michael took some cute self portraits this weekend

2011-10-15T21:54:00.000-05:00

2011-10-13T22:43:00.001-05:00

2011-10-08T12:41:00.002-05:00

Well our sale got rained out. We'll try again next Saturday, and in the meantime enjoy the rain!
Texas Fight!!

2011-10-07T17:26:00.002-05:00

Garage sale in the morning 8:30 -1 , Shadow Valley cv, Cedar park. All proceeds go to fund Jordans senior trip to Thailand.

Another legend has passed. He changed the world of technology forever.

2011-10-05T21:48:00.003-05:00

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs

2011-10-04T23:18:00.001-05:00

I am starting to get addicted to this decluttering thing. There is something freeing about purging unnecessary things from your home. And I'm not sure why this is, but I haven't been shopping since this started.
Today I worked, so I wasn't going to do a bag today, but tonight while Josh and Hannah were at practice I couldn't resist and cleaned out the 2 pots and pans cabinets which were on tomorrows list. So there's your assignment, while I work on organizing garage sale stuff.

I just finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird. Great book. Now starting The Great Gatsby. Jordan is hooked on reading the classics; she has inherited my mothers love of books, and talks frequently about her desire to have a big beautiful library in her own home someday. Her enthusiasm has spread and now I'm reading them. I'm sure I've read a lot of these, but I just don't remember them. Her most recent accomplishment was getting through Moby Dick. I don't think I'm gonna follow her on that one..

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2011-10-03T15:31:00.004-05:00

If you or anyone you know homeschools, this is going to be the garage sale for you to come to. Lots of stunning, beautiful DK books, and lots of comprehensive childrens encyclopedia type books, as well as teachers manuals for popular curriculum, and some basic texts as well. Basically an entire large bookshelf full of resources. Plus some educational board games, etc..
Oh, I might even sell our beloved talking smart globe that we have loved so much. Maybe..
Saturday morning, 1005 shadow valley cove in CP. I might do a friday morning too, I'll let you know, or you guys can let me know if a private hs showing would be helpful. I have collected sooo many books over the last 15 years, and most of them are in near perfect condition. So many hs resources, and I want to sell them to other hs families, not just garage salers looking for a bargain..

On a completely different note.. I was reading this today and it made my heart happy, so I thought I would share..
Isaiah 57:15,16 "... I live in a high and holy place, but also with those who are contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the heart of the contrite. I will not accuse them forever, nor will I always be angry, for then they would faint away because of me - the very people I created.
18 - I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to them creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel."

Such a beautiful picture of our God, the father.

2011-10-03T10:17:00.001-05:00

Today - clean out the closet under the stairs. Another scary place.. If you don't have one, then pick another scary closet..

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2011-09-30T09:41:00.001-05:00

Today's project - the front hall/coat closet. This is probably the one I have dreaded the most, surprisingly enough. It is jam packed with sports gear and old coats and hats and scarves, gloves, etc.. I have been trying to figure a way out of doing this one today, but it needs it, and it's next on the list. I figure the only way it's going to get done is if I post it here. Accountability.
..1 hr later..
DONE!!!! That wasn't so bad.

2011-09-28T13:02:00.001-05:00

I found the most wonderful thing in my closet today. A love note from Josh written 19 years ago this month. Before we were married. It was like 10 pages long in this otherwise blank notebook. What a treasure to find. Had to share a couple of pages..
<3

2011-09-28T12:59:00.002-05:00

2011-09-28T12:59:00.001-05:00

2011-09-28T09:19:00.001-05:00

Sorry, I was sick Sunday and Monday, and I worked Tuesday. Guess this is going to be longer than 20 days. Today and tomorrow - your closet. It's gonna be a doozie. But I have decided that after all of this I need to have a garage sale. I have too much stuff. So about a week and a half from now (provided I'm ready) I'm gonna have a huge garage sale to help fund Jordan's graduation trip to Thailand in May. There will be massive amounts of clothes, evening gowns, prom dresses, shoes, bags, furniture, decor, books, homeschool books(for older ages), etc.. You name it, I have too much of it. Now I have the motivation I need to get this done. So - headed back to the black hole, aka, my closet. Pray for me.

2011-09-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

Todays joy - clean out the 'under the sink' cabinet. And clean out your indoor trash cans and recycling bins, like with a garden hose out back. :)

Day 3-4

2011-09-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

Your pantry. (Kristi, I guess you get the weekend off) for the rest of us it's a 2 day job - It's about to get ugly up in here. We have lived here for 10 years. Enough said.

p.s. Josh is home!!!!!!!

Day 2

2011-09-22T11:48:00.001-05:00

ok seriously now.. If you're in this declutter thing with me. Go clean out your cooking utensil drawers in your kitchen. I just did mine and it took me half an hour, but I got carried away and cleaned out my silverware drawer too. I had 3 drawers and I emptied them all onto the counter and threw out half the stuff, because I hadn't used them in years, then organized them by drawer in order of most used. Lol, no hating please, I'm just trying to help :)

2011-09-22T11:27:00.002-05:00

2011-09-21T17:29:00.002-05:00

Hi, my name is Shileen. I think we may have met. I blog here on occasion, how about you? Lurker? Occasional commenter? Oh, hi, nice to meet you. Sorry I haven't done much with the place, been really busy. Well, not really.
2 more days till Josh comes home. I'm kinda used to him not being here. I am actually functioning just fine. That's probably a sign that he's been gone too long. Ok, so I"m functioning, but not really functioning. I'm depressed and not getting much done. I came across this '40 bags in 40 days' list and I started following it. Basically each day you get rid of a bag of stuff from 1 of the 40 locations listed in your home. I have been wanting to clean and declutter like I mentioned last time, and this may be a good tool for me. Maybe I should shorten it to 2 a day in 20 though, cause really, I need my house clean before 40 days. Today I just did 1 room, cause I hadn't thought of the 2 in 20 yet...Wanna join? Go clean out your laundry room. Take a trash bag and some clorox wipes. Go! Don't think, just do.
Now for a picture sentence..


I wish this were my bathroom


and this dress was in my closet


then I would eat this cake..


as I was getting on a plane to go to this spot in Italy. The End.

2011-09-15T23:03:00.000-05:00

Tonight the girls and I had a chic flick movie night. Complete with way too much chocolate. We're all going to have to work out extra hard tomorrow.
I helped with some details for a destination wedding today at work. If I could do it over again today, I would totally go that route. Just your closest friends and family, an intimate setting right on the beach. Barefoot, flowers tied together with a ribbon, late afternoon - close to sunset, flowy dress, yeah that's how I would design it. Dinner following on a candle lit deck or pier, with little white lights in trees, and candles everywhere... Ok, sorry, I will quit now. Not getting married again. Kind of like the guy I've got. :) Even though he's in Berlin.. :(

Ok, so is it just me, or do other people require motivation to get stuff done? I need a reward or something to get me off my butt. All day long I tell myself, you can't do this until you do this. or if you go to the gym, you can have this. Well I need some bigger motivators. I need my closet cleaned out, but have zero motivation. It's like a 2 day project. And it will be challenging. But I have nothing pressing on me to do it, so I haven't. Isn't that just sad? I also need something to look forward to, to enjoy life. Like a vacation coming up or an event I'm excited about. But there is nothing on the calendar. At all. Nothing to get excited about. Nothing to plan and dream about. This makes me sad. I don't really have extra money to go anywhere with all the bills we have due this year and college payments starting next summer. So I'm kind of stuck. I hate that I require stimulation and goals for my happiness. It's a character flaw I know. I'm trying to learn the joy of just being, and I'm getting better at it for sure, but I still long for the adventures and excitement. I need help finding the joy in doing dishes and laundry and cooking and driving and working part time. I am grateful for my life, and that needs to come out in my emotions. But sometimes the 2 just don't connect and I'm not sure why. Maybe I really am chemically imbalanced like my therapist said a few years ago. But even if I am, I couldn't handle the treatment. Those drugs were from the devil.
I'm rambling, but I'll quit now. I'm just a bored housewife whose husband is out of town and I'm lonely and sitting here with a laptop. So I'm whining to you. You people without names or faces. Out there in digital no mans land. I'm glad you're there.

2011-09-13T21:54:00.002-05:00

Why does everyone keep leaving me?? Am I destined for a life of friendless solitude? Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but Heather is now ~~likely~~ moving to San Francisco for Matt's job. That will be the 4th loss of a best friend in the last few years. Who will go drink pina coladas and then wander aimlessly with me through the aisles of target as they're trying to close?
She was there through the worst period of my life, and we will always be friends. So I guess I'll just have another cool place to go visit..

2011-09-12T12:20:00.001-05:00

Josh has just left for Paris and Germany. I don't like this one bit. I strongly dislike being a temporary single parent. And I don't like killing bugs and fixing things. And I can't help with Calculus. I am dependent on him completely. Sad, but true. Oh, and I also miss him a ton.
Michael will be in and out alot as he is playing guitar for Josh this weekend. (Which also means midweek rehearsals, etc.) Besides that fact, he can't seem to keep himself away from Jordan for very long these days, despite living in Waco. :) It's so cute.
Papa's 60th birthday celebration was Saturday night and since Michael was here we made him come along and meet that half of the family. I'm pretty sure they liked him. He had a great time as well.

My black cat is a terrorist, just so you know. He's giving me the eye.

10 years ago

2011-09-11T21:07:00.001-05:00

Ten years ago I had just dropped off Hannah at preschool and was on my way back home when Josh called. He told me to turn on the news. I remember pulling into the mall parking lot just to listen to the radio, and I remember being in absolute shock when the 2nd plane hit. I then rushed home to turn on the television. Josh met me there and we watched the news all day long in utter disbelief. Our only break was to pick up Jordan from elementary school and Hannah from preschool later that afternoon. (We hadn't started homeschooling yet and school didn't let them out early. ) They were really too young to understand, but we made them watch for a minute anyway.

One thing in particular I remember, and loved, was how in the days after, everyone was proudly flying their American flags everywhere. Yards, cars, businesses, etc. It was a very unifying tragedy that I wish we hadn't forgotten so soon.

2011-09-09T16:21:00.004-05:00

Stealing this from a friend of a friend.
If you are a mom to girls (or even sons interested in girls) you need to read.

Bringing up Girls excerpt

-The Charm Bracelet-

Sweet sixteen had finally come! I never thought I'd make it. But I did. And it was amazing. My parents threw the birthday party of the century, and I had more people over than I could count. The whole day had been awesome. But as I watched the sun begin to set, I knew the best part was soon to come.
It was late in the evening. Confetti had been swept up, helium balloons had started to sag, and gift wrapping had been folded neatly and tucked away for my mom's later use. As I sat at my window studying the dusky sky, Dad peeked into my room with a smile.
"Ready to go, Sweetie?" he asked.
Was that a trick question? I wondered as I scrambled to my feet. I'd been waiting for this night for five long years, and it was finally here! I was now officially allowed to date!
The plan was for my parents and me to go to my favorite restaurant on the night of my sixteenth birthday and officiate the agreement, go over standards, and discuss rules and such. And now we were finally on the way.
I sat across from my parents in a quiet corner booth. Having just placed our orders, I figured it was time to get on with it. "So, I can go out with any guy I want to, right?" I squealed, hardly able to contain my excitement.
Mom and Dad chuckled. Dad answered, "Well, we agreed to that, didn't we?"
"Sweet!" I exclaimed, doing a little victory dance in my seat. My parents had held me off for years, but now that the time had come, they would let me date any guy I wanted! Of course, they knew I had a good relationship with God and wasn't too short on common sense, either.
"Now wait just a second," Mom interrupted with a smile. "You have to agree to a little something yourself."
I was expecting a lecture of some sort, so I was already prepared. "So what do I have to do now?" I asked, leaning forward on my elbows.
"Just open this," Dad answered, producing a small white box. He gave a mysterious smile.
I hesitated a moment before removing the curly pink ribbon. I slowly opened the lid and saw a beautiful silver bracelet. But not just any bracelet. It was a charm bracelet. And they weren't just any charms. They were gemstones, small but gorgeous. A dozen dainty charms dangled gently. "Wow." I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't expecting this at all.
"Now you have to understand this isn't just any bracelet," Mom informed me.
"I know," I said. "It is so beautiful!" I studied it closer. There were six small charms alternating with six tinier ones. The smaller ones were a deep blue. Sapphires, I guessed. And the other six were each different. One appeared to be just a rock, one was pink, a white one, a red one, green, and.....was that a diamond?
"This charm bracelet is symbolic," Dad explained, leaning in closer to study it with me. "It represents you and your purity. This is what will guide you through your dating relationships. Your mother and I can only tell you what's right. We can't make you believe it yourself. Hopefully, this will."
I looked up solemnly, "I'm listening."
"This represents the first time you hold a guy's hand," Mom said, pointing to the gray one. "It's just a piece of polished granite. Seemingly cheap, yes, but it's still a part of your bracelet. This is pink quartz."
Then she gently rubbed the next one between her fingers. "It represents your first kiss."
"This green one is an emerald," Dad continued. "This is your first boyfriend. The pearl is the first time you say 'I love you' to a man other than me."
I giggled. This was so amazing.
"The ruby stands for your engagement. And the diamond represents the time you say 'I do,'" Mom finished.
After letting it all sink in, I cleared my emotion-clogged throat. "What are the six tiny sapphires for?" I asked.
"Those are to remind you how beautiful and valuable you are to us and to God," Dad replied. "Now, here's the hitch in all this, the one and only rule you'll ever have to follow when it comes to dating."
Only one rule. Sounded good. But little did I know.......
"Whenever you give one of these actions of love - a kiss, an 'I love you,' a hand to hold - you also have to give the recipient the gem to match."
I must've misunderstood. "I have to give him the gem?"
"You have to give it to him," Mom restated.
I was silent for a moment. I thought they must be joking. But they weren't even thinking of cracking a smile.
"But Daddy!" I suddenly shrieked. "These are insanely expensive! I can't just give them away!"
He gave a soft, loving chuckle. "Did you hear what you just said?"
I thought about it.
"Baby, your purity, your heart, they're far more valuable than a few little rocks. If you can't find it in your heart to give away your little charms, I don't think you would be giving away the things they represent."
I could feel my insides melting, ready to gush out my tear ducts. On the one hand, it made me feel valuable and precious. But on the other, it made me furious. It made no sense. But it would.
A few weeks after that night, I was hanging out with my friends at the beach. Chad wouldn't swim because I wouldn't swim. I was more interested in reading than getting caked with sand, and he was more interested in sitting with me than swimming with his buddies. He was sweet. He was cute. He tried to hold my hand.
I was thrilled for a nanosecond when a certain piece of ugly granite flashed through my mind and made me move out of his reach. I was severely annoyed - annoyed at my parents, annoyed at my bracelet-turned-handcuffs, but most of all, annoyed at myself. I was letting a little rock dominate my romantic life.
I furiously glared at it during the whole embarrassing walk to the bathhouse. But then God hit me upside the head with a shocking epiphany. I couldn't give up my little chunk of granite. It was part of my bracelet, which in a sense made it a part of me. I wouldn't be whole without it. It wasn't a priceless gem, yet it was still valuable. It made sense after that.
Kevin came along eventually. We had fun. We hung out a lot. I thought I might love him. I thought I might tell him so.
I thought of my pearl.
It turned out I didn't love him as much as I thought I did.
So my parents had been right. They couldn't make me believe the things they wanted me to believe. So they let God and my bracelet do the work instead. Among the four of them, I figured out how valuable I was. How valuable my purity was. How not valuable guys were who were just wasting my time and emotions. If they weren't in it for the whole bracelet, why should they get one part of it.
Nate. He thought my bracelet was awesome. So he never tried to hold my hand. He never tried to kiss me. But he asked me to marry him
I never knew that so many years of torture could amount to so much happiness. I'd thought it was silly. I'd thought it was overrated. But now, I have never been more glad of anything in my life.
As I gave my husband the charm bracelet in it's entirety, i wondered why I had found it so hard to hang on to those little rocks when it was so amazing to give them all to the man I truly loved.
But it didn't end there. Now our daughter wears it. - Raising Up by Dr. James Dobson

*So it's a bit late for Jordan, (at least half of it anyways ;) ) but it's a great concept. Maybe a bit over the top for my taste. When they were younger I would have been all for it, but as they have become older it becomes a little more challenging. Still I love the idea of not giving your heart away so freely as most girls do these days. I believe we have instilled these same values, and because of this, all of Jordan's firsts will likely be with the same one man. I have no doubt Hannah will follow in the same way.

2011-09-07T12:35:00.001-05:00

This is Bastrop right now. The fires have destroyed ~~almost 1000~~ 1626 homes so far. Leander and Steiner Ranch fires are almost under control.

2011-09-07T12:20:00.002-05:00

Monday afternoon we had some of the guys over for a jam session (and food). They are absolutely amazing musicians. Why the Lord has them hidden is beyond my understanding.

2011-09-06T13:22:00.003-05:00

*So Pat Jones was one of my 3 counselors after my affair. I put her through all kinds of grief, and even lied to her. Twice. Yet, she still helped me. Well last Sunday, I saw her and gave her a hug, and she stopped me and said to me that she was so proud of me. What?! I was kind of shocked and argued a bit about how much grief I had given her, and that she was crazy for saying such a thing. But she repeated herself. Saying that she had meant to tell me for some time now how proud she was of me. Wow. I was so incredibly in awe and humbled. I guess I just don't see what she does, and can't see this from the outside. But thank God somebody does!
*There are wildfires raging all around us. Central Tx made national news. There is complete devastation going on in Bastrop with no end in sight. Everywhere, everyone praying for rain. Worst summer ever, weather wise.
In happier news it's in the 80's today because of a cool front. Amazingly beautiful if you can ignore the smoke in the air.
*Michael spent the weekend here. They had a wonderful first official date, and have been inseparable ever since. Kinda reminds me of Josh and I. Like, a lot. Marriage ,apparently, has already been introduced into their vocabulary. They seem to already know. Like Josh and I did. When it's the one, it's the one, and you know. This scares me for several reasons. I don't want her to take the path that I did. I want her to continue down the path we have planned. And she promises she will, absolutely. She just can't guarantee she won't be married while doing it. I told her I can't afford a wedding and college at the same time. She laughs. I'm not kidding. So hopefully they will wait a few years, and let M get his MBA, and J get her degree. But I'm not holding my breath.
I have faith in these kids, that they will do the right thing for themselves, not for me. Whatever that may be.
Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself. They're only talking about it. But I'm a mom, I do these things.
I must apologize publicly for doing this to my mom when I was this age. This is hard stuff. Love you mom, and thank you for supporting me despite my crazy choices. I wouldn't trade any of it, however. For without those choices, I wouldn't have these wonderful, amazing children and husband. Life has a funny way of working stuff out.

Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T

2011-09-02T23:59:00.006-05:00

Jordan had her first "official date" with her boyfriend tonight. They were so cute I had to take a picture..

2011-08-31T10:41:00.000-05:00

I haven't been to the gym in 6 months. Not since the day I got the call from the police regarding Josh's accident. But since he just got back on his bike, I figured it was time to go back to the gym. I didn't really even remember why I hadn't been back until I got on the machine that I was on when I got the call. I looked up and out the window at the familiar scene, and it all of a sudden hit me. The memory came rushing back like a ton of bricks, and suddenly I remembered why I had been gone. I had to leave.
I'm not superstitious, it's just that who wants to relive one of the scariest moments of your life over and over again. Yuck.
This of course got me to think about what my top 3 scariest moments are. And they are all nightmare material I'd rather not dwell on. So I'll take a cue from from my friend Lisa's post this morning

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

That is much better. The TRUTH is that I miraculously have a healthy husband and healthy marriage. What is NOBLE is our pursuit to retain that marriage. What is RIGHT? My daughter leading worship from behind her piano. That is right. What is PURE? My other daughters relationship with her beloved. LOVELY? the flowers on my table that Josh brought me :) ADMIRABLE - Josh's relentless pursuit in providing for his family. He is the hardest worker I know. EXCELLENT OR PRAISEWORTHY - that's easy. Only Jesus.

2011-08-29T16:45:00.001-05:00

I know most parents of teens dread their child having a boyfriend/girlfriend. But not here. This is a big day for our daughter. Her first boyfriend, and with a guy who we already consider a son. It couldn't get any sweeter.
She spent the whole weekend with him, only coming home Saturday night to sleep for a few hours. She met all his Baylor roomates, and got to spend some time with them. Then on Sunday morning, he sat her down at his house and apparently (very nervously) asked her if she'd be his girlfriend. He said he was praying for the right time to begin this new chapter, and felt God telling him that this was it. He told her it wasn't official until he asked her dads permission first. So when I got the call with the news I promised to bring him along for the 4th and final Jordan exchange in Temple that night. It was pretty simple and straightforward, but the right thing to do. I love that young man.
They stayed up late into the night adding photos and updating their status on facebook. I wasn't with Michael, but Jordan was in heaven. I've never seen her happier. However this morning, getting ready for school, in her new crazed, sleep deprived, unfocused on anything but Michael ways, she forgot her notebooks and planner and brought the wrong textbooks. I was laughing at her hysterically, with her running around in a daze. She couldn't think straight; so I decided she was in no condition to drive and drove her to ACC.
She is now napping, trying to recover somewhat from this weekend.

He already has plans to spend next weekend here with her, lucky for them it's a 3 day weekend :)

So that's it from the wonderful world of Michael drama. No more guessing and wondering. It's official, so you can stop hearing about it for a while here. :)

2011-08-29T11:43:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is more for us to remember, than it is for public consumption, but these are some copied and pasted threads from facebook last night..

Chris Munoz What happened to "no crossing the Jordan"!?!? :D

Nice, you two. I knew it since last year; before you two ever did :)
Shileen Elizabeth Hollis Karnes I did too Chris :)
Chris Munoz Yeah.. you're how I knew, Shileen. Haha! Consider yourself blessed, Michael; to have your gf's mom see something special in you and trust you enough for her daughter, before anyone else ever thought of it.

Also young Michael, consider yourself unlucky to have your gf's dad be Josh Karnes; owner of a ____load of guns and ammo! Bahahaha!

Michael Heath Although, I could also revise that and say that I am lucky in that my gfs dad happens to be one of my closest friends who helped shape me into the person I am today. And because of that and my love for the Lord I will never abuse this new relationship with any sin and will cherish it as a gift from God himself. :)
Chris Munoz I know you won't. And I know how big of an influence to you Josh is. You lucked out to date a wonderful girl who comes from a wonderful family. And I know they lucked out too, in having you as Jordan's boyfriend. I'm sincerely happy for you two. :)))

Kid Karnes and Karnes kid! Here here!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jordan Karnes is sooooo happy :)

Michael Heath ‎:) me too. Can't wait to see you this weekend. I miss you already

==================================================================

2011-08-28T23:59:00.003-05:00

Oh what a weekend. Will go into more detail tomorrow, but short story, Michael officially asked J to be his girlfriend today, on his birthday. :)
Here's Michaels fb status from tonight and J's comment .. too much cuteness going down around here..

Michael Heath
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!! It was the best birthday that I've ever had thanks to all my freinds and my new girlfriend Jordan Karnes! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams today. Praise God and thanks again everyone!

Jordan Karnes aawwww oh my goodness I wish I could like this status more than once :) it was an amazing day :)

2011-08-26T12:34:00.000-05:00

This morning we finally submitted 2 college applications. Jordan did great on her essays, she is quite an amazing writer. It must come from all the books she reads. We submitted to A&M Galveston and also Southwestern today. I'm sure I probably screwed something up somewhere and we may be hearing from them before their decision. After all, I've never written a homeschoolers transcript before. But I will say, it looks good academically. She's in Physics, Calculus, Economics, Government, Grammar, Psychology and Geography, and Computer programming(i think, maybe) this year. Not a slack off senior year like most have. It will be the toughest year yet. But hopefully she'll get accepted early on and take that stress off her plate.
So now we wait. And pray that God knows what's best for our little girl.
Your will be done Lord. Only yours.

2011-08-25T08:36:00.000-05:00

Last night was pretty cool. After dropping Hannah off for practice, Jordan and I went shopping for one of her Waco outfits for the weekend. Michael has told her the first order of business when she gets there is to meet all his roommates. Naturally she wants to look good, but not look like she's trying too hard to look good, or to look like she dressed UP. Do you know how hard it is to find a wardrobe for a teenage girl going to see a boy at college?? Oh my goodness. Clothes were flying in the dressing rooms. I would sit in the chair and reassemble everything on hangers, after being handed them, like any good ~~slave~~ mom.
It was fun, not just because I know these days are dwindling, but because I can see her future in her eyes, and I'm so excited for her. What she didn't know, and couldn't see, was that everything she put on didn't matter. She's beautiful no matter what, and he will proudly show that off to his friends this weekend.
Afterwards we went back to church and J decided to come with Josh and I to adult service. I knew she had outgrown youth a while ago, but she finally realized it. Plus, none of her friends were there tonight. :) (I love our church immensely, but a youth group that has 12 year olds and nearly 18 year olds in the same room, getting the same message, is messed up. These two age groups need totally different material and help. ) Anyways, she LOVED adult service. Joe was actually there and he tore it up. She laughed, she cried, she was touched, she was prayed over. It was good. I'm sure she will be back. I think J was surprised at how much fun we have over in the old folks room.
And back over in youth, Hannah got to experience her dream for the first time. She got to sing and play lead keys at the same time! Apparently this is how she envisions her future and has tasted it at the age of 14. :)
God is good, all the time.

2011-08-23T10:54:00.000-05:00

"I've been high, I've been low, I've been yes and I've been oh hell no!
I've been rock ‘n roll and disco, won’t you save me san francisco?"

-song stuck in my head for days and days, love it

2011-08-22T11:20:00.000-05:00

Kids have all started school. Jordan is at ACC taking her dual credit classes, Hannah is upstairs prepping for her Chemistry class. It's so quiet here :( I'm not going to complain, cause this time next year will be so much worse.
Hey, I got a new phone. I finally switched to android and got an HTC Inspire. Love it. I was about to throw my iphone into my pond, it had gotten sooo slow.
I think today I'm going to cook. And bake. Alot. Not sure where that came from..
It looks like I'll be working tuesdays and thursdays this fall, and I'm considering becoming an actual agent, not just her assistant. What do you think? Would you guys give me your business? Most of the time an agent can save you money. If we can't beat the price, then we will match any price you find and you would have peace of mind knowing someone else is watching your reservation for price changes or itinerary changes and/or save you the hassle of researching and booking. And I would make a commission directly from the hotel or cruise ship or whatever. It doesn't cost you anything extra for our services. Interested? email me, shileen at 3dcruiseandtravel dot com. :)

2011-08-19T00:59:00.001-05:00

Good times in Jordans world again. They went to the circus tonight, and Michael asked her on the way home if she would come to Waco next weekend for his 21st birthday party. :) I'm guessing he wants her to meet his college roommates and friends. She is a wee bit giddy to say the least. I think a part of her thought maybe this was just summertime fun for him, but once school started, he'd be gone. But he's not. He also promised to come down for her 18th birthday in October and take her anywhere she wants for dinner. Though he said it has to be a nice, 5 star restaurant :) She's like me and doesn't care about how fancy a restaurant is, but he just wants to impress her. It's so stinkin cute..

I can't wait for MY man to get home tomorrow night.. Hey wait, that's Tonight!
I've got to go to bed..

some pics my kids took for me :)

2011-08-18T15:56:00.001-05:00

2011-08-16T23:20:00.002-05:00

It's a doubly sad day around here. Josh is in California, and Michael's last day in Austin is tomorrow. He's going back to school. Jordan has grown quite fond of Michael, and he has grown quite fond of her, or so we believe. It's all speculative at this point. Boys. (shaking my head) Apparently on their non date the other night he spent most of dinner trying to talk her out of going to school in Galveston. Wanting instead for her to be closer to home. Gee, wonder why. I don't know what's going through that boys head. Either way my little girl is sad to lose him, and that makes me sad for her.
This whole college thing is getting a little close to home. She's starting her senior year next week. Before I know it, it'll be summer. I shudder to think how rough next August is going to be. But, this is life, it happens every day. It's supposed to be this way, right?
I wouldn't trade one day that I've been home with my girls. I am so glad I chose to homeschool them all the way. I am so blessed to have really been a part of every step of their lives. I love to just lay on my bed and talk about nothing and everything with them. I love taking days off during the school year to just go shopping or watch a movie. I love that I know each and every one of their friends. I love that they say we are strict parents, but that they don't mind that, and even like it. I love that they have high standards for people, and they expect the best in their relationships. I love that they will never settle for second best in their future mates. I love that they are a light to others. Jordans family that she babysits for has decided to homeschool their elementary aged kids after getting to know Jordan over time, and realizing they want their kids to be just like her. What an amazing testimony! I love how Hannah has inherited Josh's musical ability, and applied it to piano. She has taken off so much faster than we ever dreamed possible. She can play anything! She blows my mind constantly. And she is writing songs! Beautiful ones I might add. Her dedication is far beyond her 14 years. I can't wait to see where she goes.
Ok, I'll stop bragging on my kids, I need to go to sleep anyway. There are precious few days left of this sweet summer, and I plan to spend them with my baby girls.
Goodnight all

WHO KNOWS WHAT

My girl

Handcrafted jewelry made with love in Uganda

My beauties, on my birthday :)

Party #2

Story of my life

Happy 15th Birthday Hannah!!!

Ladies!

Hannah's first guitar. Early 15th bday present, she's very happy :)

One of the proudest moments of a homeschool parents career. The day your first child gets their first college ACCEPTANCE LETTER!!!!!!!!!!! This one is for A&M Galveston. (marine biology)So proud of my girl Jordan, she has worked so hard for this. Oh happy day! :)

Jor and Michael took some cute self portraits this weekend

Another legend has passed. He changed the world of technology forever.

Day 3-4

Day 2

10 years ago

Jordan Karnes is sooooo happy :)

Michael HeathThanks everyone for the birthday wishes!! It was the best birthday that I've ever had thanks to all my freinds and my new girlfriend Jordan Karnes! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams today. Praise God and thanks again everyone!

some pics my kids took for me :)

One of the proudest moments of a homeschool parents career. The day your first child gets their first college ACCEPTANCE LETTER!!!!!!!!!!! This one is for A&M Galveston. (marine biology)
So proud of my girl Jordan, she has worked so hard for this. Oh happy day! :)

Michael Heath
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!! It was the best birthday that I've ever had thanks to all my freinds and my new girlfriend Jordan Karnes! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams today. Praise God and thanks again everyone!