Shileen's Blog

Sunday, August 16, 2009

:(

I weigh 143 pounds.
That's not good for me. Why do you think I keep wearing dresses every day? Its cause my pants don't fit. My butt is huge. Maybe all the muscle I'm building at the gym is part of the problem. Probably not. I might actually have to start watching what I eat before winter gets here so I can fit into my jeans! (Gasp!!)

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

"I want to be beautiful
And make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful."
-Bethany Dillon

"We desire to possess a beauty that is worth PURSUING, worth FIGHTING for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. "
-Captivating

I am loving this book. Finally someone has written about the true nature of women.
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"Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for 3 things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive. "
-Captivating
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Ok ok

So the med my dr wants me on also treats post traumatic stress disorder. So yeah, he could think I have that instead. :)
I don't care. I will do what I'm told. Obedience to my wiser authorities is not a bad thing, it's just against my former nature.. And I certainly can't proclaim MY wisdom right now..
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W.E.

So what if I can't seem to finish a book, close a drawer, or complete a project.
So I lack filters sometimes, honesty is good.
And what's so wrong with spontaneity?
It's my prerogative to love one day and hate the next.
Passion always has its counter weight.
And who does it bother that I have a hundred things going in my brain all at once.
I'm fun, I'm not a child.
Wanting adventure is not refusing to grow up.
Everyone loves me when I'm at my high, but when I'm at the other end of the spectrum I have a personality disorder?
How do you think it feels to be told your personality is a disorder?