I have a new fave sandwich shop. Potbelly at the Arbor Walk. Love the skinny bread and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Yum.
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Welcome to my world
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The open water
chills me to my bones,
but it's the only place that I feel alive.
The ocean floor
begins to disappear;
I sense that terrible depth.
The open water
is my only fear,
but I'll sail as long as I still have breath in me.
I'm starting to
believe the ocean's
much like you,
because it gives
and it takes away.
chills me to my bones,
but it's the only place that I feel alive.
The ocean floor
begins to disappear;
I sense that terrible depth.
The open water
is my only fear,
but I'll sail as long as I still have breath in me.
I'm starting to
believe the ocean's
much like you,
because it gives
and it takes away.
Monday, October 26, 2009
It has been said that I am acting as though nothing ever happened and am trying to move on too quickly. Well let me say that was a lifesaving measure. But no more.
You want to know my reality? It sucks. I have lost the trust of my family. They are justifiably hurt and angry with me. And I am failing miserably at making them feel any better.
The people at church just wish that I would go away. They haven't said so, but you can tell by their coldness towards me. (Not talking about joe, lori or karen) and to add to the alienation there, I am not able to even serve for at least 18 months.
I lost 3 of my best friends in this whole thing. I miss them so much it hurts. I feel isolated and alone. I don't think there is anyone on the planet that loves me without reasonable reservation or hesitation because I have hurt them. Except maybe my mom. Cause she has to. And josh is trying to, despite his pain.
Do u know how that feels? I caused all of it. Had I known where my choices were going to lead of course I wouldn't have made them. I had no idea it would all go down like this. Yes I was stupid and naïve. But I didn't set out on a course of destruction. My own heart led me astray; and I will live with that the rest of my life.
I'm sorry.
So go ahead and judge me, hate me, whatever you need to do. No one can hate me any more than I do.
I try to convince myself everyday to get out of bed and keep going even though most days I just don't see the point. I am a failure and a disappointment to everyone. That's reality.
(please, no comments)
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You want to know my reality? It sucks. I have lost the trust of my family. They are justifiably hurt and angry with me. And I am failing miserably at making them feel any better.
The people at church just wish that I would go away. They haven't said so, but you can tell by their coldness towards me. (Not talking about joe, lori or karen) and to add to the alienation there, I am not able to even serve for at least 18 months.
I lost 3 of my best friends in this whole thing. I miss them so much it hurts. I feel isolated and alone. I don't think there is anyone on the planet that loves me without reasonable reservation or hesitation because I have hurt them. Except maybe my mom. Cause she has to. And josh is trying to, despite his pain.
Do u know how that feels? I caused all of it. Had I known where my choices were going to lead of course I wouldn't have made them. I had no idea it would all go down like this. Yes I was stupid and naïve. But I didn't set out on a course of destruction. My own heart led me astray; and I will live with that the rest of my life.
I'm sorry.
So go ahead and judge me, hate me, whatever you need to do. No one can hate me any more than I do.
I try to convince myself everyday to get out of bed and keep going even though most days I just don't see the point. I am a failure and a disappointment to everyone. That's reality.
(please, no comments)
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Had a fabulous memorable night tonight. We had sooo much fun doing the scavenger hunt. It was flipin hilarious the stuff we had to do. Apparently the girls also had a blast on their team. Their video was a riot. Josh is gonna youtube both of them in the coming days. I will post a link when he does. Must sleep now. My whole body hurts from tonight..
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Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sick again. My boss Jamie warned me that I may catch a bunch of stuff this season since I've never worked retail. He may have been right.
I'm fine mom, its not swine flu. Just another cold.
Laying here discussing alternate universes versus alternative universes; and for what reason? Because we are on drugs.
I better go before I say something stupider while talking about Jupiter.
I'm fine mom, its not swine flu. Just another cold.
Laying here discussing alternate universes versus alternative universes; and for what reason? Because we are on drugs.
I better go before I say something stupider while talking about Jupiter.
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I told my husband that my nose won't stop running and instead of his usual better go catch it he said maybe its in a nose marathon. He made me laugh. Then he said I should show it the finish line. He's a funny guy; sometimes. Kind of in a had to be there, delirious, tired , sick kind of way.
Tomorrow morn I'm going to the Nordstrom north grand opening then to Cimarron for our small biz owners group lunch. Then work. Boo to that part..
And now, thanks to Elliot, I have Willie Nelson singing in my head "You are always on my mind..
You are always on my mind"
Tomorrow morn I'm going to the Nordstrom north grand opening then to Cimarron for our small biz owners group lunch. Then work. Boo to that part..
And now, thanks to Elliot, I have Willie Nelson singing in my head "You are always on my mind..
You are always on my mind"
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