Been cruising around this afternoon with the top down. Got the mild sunburn going on.. sipping a smoothie ( I've become a smoothie junkie ) ( but there are worse things to be addicted to) .. Waiting on Rene for a pre church shopping date. Buying some props for our big photo shoot Friday morning.

I'm doing ok, btw, thank you all for your kind words.

"MarkBatterson - sometimes the Lord leads you down a street to get you to another street to get you to a side street you wouldn't find any other way"

I can't start serving in church until July. And missions is off the
table indefinitely.

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Smells like slow cooked onions and chocolate in here. :-)
Making a pot roast for dinner, and there are brownies in the oven. Looking forward to everyone being home tonight.
I have a meeting with Karen at 4pm. THAT, I am NOT really looking forward to. I should find out if I'm allowed to serve again. If she says no again... I don't know.. Josh says I'm stronger than I think I am. He may be right. But it will have to be a total God thing to not come unglued after all this preaching by Pastor Joe about serving and forgiveness and moving on ,lately, and then it not applying to me.
Doesn't matter, she's going to say yes, and I'm going to be restored. What the enemy tried to take from me will be reinstated 100 fold. God is in the business of restoration.

Another beautiful week being served up in the ATX!
Currently gardening in a tank top and shorts.... Ahhhhh feels soo good

I knew today would be better! I logged on to a stock photo site that I sell on, and guess whose picture is on the front page?? Mine!!! These guys represent photographers from all over the world!
God is so good. Just yesterday I wanted to hang up my camera strap forever out of discouragement and frustration. I prayed for confirmation, guidance, and direction. I think I got it :-)

(panama boat on the right)

Not gonna lie, today sucked. Kept hoping something good would happen
that I could write about. But it never happened, just kept getting
worse. I am frustrated, sick, tired, stressed, and hurt.
But tomorrow's going to be better. I just know it. I won't let life
get the best of me. I'm on the winning team. My God will not forsake
me, He will rescue me in my time of trouble.

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So my vivid dreams have turned to nightmares the last two nights. One
was all about snakes, which I hate, and it was so nasty because they
were EVERYWHERE! I couldn't walk without stepping on one. And I was
trying desperately to cover my bed with netting so they couldn't get
me while I slept. Last nights was about me murdering someone. I
couldn't tell if I poisoned them or just made them explode, but both
happened to my victim and the whole dream was about all my frends and
family looking for clues as to who did it and me hoping they wouldn't
find out. Everytime they'd find a clue i'd panic thinking my time was
up. Even though the murder was unintentional I didn't think I could
properly defend myself because of how bad it was. It was an eerily
familiar feeling.

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Seriously, how does one go about picking the course for the rest of
your life? One decision can change literally everything. Moving
obviously is a big choice but also every little thing like turning
left instead of right can alter your life forever. What if to the
right was a stalled car you crash into and die? Or turning left throws
you into an old friend with a job opportunity. Who prays about which
way to turn?? We usually leave prayer for the big things like..
Moving. When our little decisions we make all day can affect our lives
just as drastically.
Just something I think about..

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Seriously considering moving to New Zealand.

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Karey update - he is not only out of the hospital and home, but he and his whole family walked up on stage at church on Sunday to testify to God's goodness. The only thing left to overcome are his memories. They aren't all back yet, but are coming back more every day. It's an amazing miraculous healing.

Jordan and I spent the morning getting paid to do voice overs for X-box. It was a one time gig, but very interesting.

Ok, I am now officially scared for the future of our country. It has now gotten out of hand. Who can honestly say this moronic healthcare bill is a good idea? Why can't we ship said people to Russia or Canada with one way tickets?! I am so mad.

" each heart knows its own bitterness "
Prov 14:10

My photo site is back up and running, just FYI. www.shileenkarnesphotography.com

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Waiting in line at Six Flags. One of many lines. But tonight Kris
Allen is doing a concert here. Jordan is beyond excited. So glad to
salvage at least one day of her spring break. Poor speckled kid. She's
only got a few scabs left.. Not enough to keep her away from Kris.

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Shoot went great. Had a great lunch with the guys at Chili Parlour
after. Now on to girls night!

On my way to a photoshoot. Why do I get so nervous every time?? One
area of my life that I am still very insecure. Guess I shouldn't admit
to that publicly, huh? Oh well, here I go....

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Sitting under the dryer at the salon.
Just got pinched, so I better get home and get some green on before
going anywhere else. How on earth did that tradition get started
anyway??
Just booked a photoshoot in downtown Austin with Travis Lucas
tomorrow! Yay for new clients!

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YES! I beat the bachelors

'Just when you think you got me figured out,
The season's already changing'

Jordan is over the worst of it now. The incubation period is 2 weeks
so I have a wait to see if I get it. I really really hope not cause my
asthma is bad right now and I'm a high risk group for complications.
I get my car back tomorrow!
I have the wildest, crazy vivid dreams. And if I don't tell someone
about them right when I wake up, I forget them. Why is that? I could
write a whole other blog just about my insane dreams. It would be very
entertaining!

Recently someone called me 'captivating'. I really like that word...

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Today was horrible. Watching your child suffer is torture. Especially
when you give them all the meds you can, and they just don't work. We
watched movies all day, just trying to keep her distracted. Please
pray for her.

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My 16 year old has chicken pox. Her dr had never seen a real case of
it. Please pray for us, as I have never had it either.
Haiti's out.

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Almost made it to Haiti today. I'm on the list to take a spare seat
on one of the CARE flights. (Either the doctor delivery ones or supply
delivery ones)
I got a call around 6pm and she asked if I could be in Florida by
10am. I told her I'd have to call her right back but by the time I
got ahold of her 5 minutes later the seat was gone. She said there
were more opportunities coming up, maybe this weekend.
Gregg says I shouldn't go. Too dangerous. Charles said I would stick
out pretty bad, but if I stuck with my pilot I should be ok. Josh is
undecided.
If u know me, you know I wanna go..

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So Rene and I walk into a biker bar for lunch and everyone stops and looks at us. If it was a movie, the music would have screeched to a halt. That was a moment. Then we sit down to eat and I look up at this ginormous 20 ft wide fan and said "look at that thing!" She looks up and says, "that's a big ass fan!" I doubled over in hysterical laughter, cause if you know Rene, you know she doesn't say such things. She then jokingly says the place is bringing out the best in her, then proceeds to tell me that a Big Ass Fan is an actual brand name of particularly large fans, and this was one of them. She knows, cause they have them in hangars. It took her a while to convince me, she even brought the waitress over to concur. One of those, 'had to be there' moments I suppose, but i had to write it so that i will remember this lunch and laugh years from now when i reread this.
(Did you know you can turn your blog into a book? I do it every year. It's easy, and there's a link in my links section. )

Karey's car. Miraculous he had no broken bones, only head injuries. He walked alot yesterday and is now in rehab and out of the hospital. Still isn't talking or eating yet.

So yesterday I spent almost 4 hours driving my children around to where they needed to be. Kinda insane for a Sunday..

My car just got checked into the shop to repair the damage from jordans accident. Also, this morning, I searched for a job, did my Bible Study and painted the bathroom cabinets. They look so great, I think I'm gonna tackle the kitchen ones! That , is a huge project. 

Anyways, tomorrow Rene is introducing me to her friend who started C.A.R.E., (Corporate Aviation Responding to Emergencies)

C.A.R.E. Operation Haiti has included over 675 flights with 3400 passengers and 1,200,000 lbs of critical supplies.

She is doing an article on her and wants me to shoot some photos and get me involved in her org so I can help her and also go shoot some photos in Haiti! Soo excited! And Marty is working on my photo website as I type. Can't wait to see it!

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There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
When she was good, she was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.

FreeBirds!

Update on Karey: he is out of his coma and ICU. He's starting to
respond and even said 'mom' yesterday, which was a huge step. But he
still has a feeding tube cause he's not swallowing. He has a long way
to go, keep praying for him.
This week is just sucky. Glad it's almost over. Looking for another
job. Photo business is slow and intermittent and we have some large
bills to pay.

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Family is off to church for leader night. Obviously I can't go cause
not only am I not a leader anymore, but I still haven't been released
to serve, at all. It's been a long time that I've been set aside. I
will be honest, it's starting to feel less like punishment and more
personal at this point. I defended their decision for a long time, but
I'm growing weary of doing so.
Lord, help me stay positive and not go any further down my pity party
path. Please bring me hope and peace.

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Me and my old friend Chip from college at the lake one day. 1992

'i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all..'
This song just won't go away

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