Family birthday celebration at nanas and papas

Happy 17th to my beautiful fabulous firstborn. I hope you enjoyed today my love.
Love those boots!

Just got home from church, and now there's a room full of guys watching, not the World Series, but the Spurs opening game of the season. I love these boys..

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Oh, the places you'll go..

So I think I figured out the emotions behind the hair. I was listening to a song on the way home from work, and it occurred to me, that blonde was my victory color. Well, more like my survival color. And I haven't gotten into any trouble as a blonde. Funny enough.
But as an "auburn"?, well that just brings back memories. I've been this color before. It's the color I left behind over a year ago, to become a blonde.
I know, it's just hair. But ones hair speaks volumes. Even to myself, when I look in the mirror.

This is a pic of my daddy from a few months ago when he was here for my brothers doctorate graduation

Ok, I already miss my blonde. I think I'm gonna cycle back around to it next spring. It's the closest to my real color as I've ever had, except for.. My.. Real.. Color. Yeah. Soo even my eyebrows are like dark blonde. And they kinda look weird with this dark red hair. Maybe I'm just being sentimental..
I AM a girl..
In other girl news, I bought some skinny khakis today at Nordstrom rack. I really like that store. I have grown tired of wearing dress pants everyday and my only other choice is khakis (yuck), so today I found some skinny jean style khakis (who knew those existed??) on clearance for $16!

On Thursday, my first born child will be 17. I just can't believe it. That sounds so old. I remember holding her in the hospital and looking down into those big blue eyes. And now she's almost a grown up. Seems unreal that so much time could have passed. I am so grateful to have been able to stay home with them all that time. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just wish it could have lasted a couple more years. I miss my girls so much.
Hannah is officially taking piano lessons, even though she's already so good. She's gonna sit in during practice with the youth band tomorrow night, and she's very excited. She has been singing almost every week now, in youth, and every few weeks in adult services. And she'd like to also eventually get in the piano rotation. I am so proud and amazed by her.
I have to get to sleep, full day of shoots tomorrow..
GN
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So there it is, sucky picture, yes, but it's hard to take your own picture! and no one is here to help.. Soo, I'll get a better one later, but you get the general idea of the color. Not blonde. It will become less red, and more brown over time. It's just hard to cover blonde.

Today is my last day as a blonde. It's been over a year and 4 months since the color change that, not coincidentally, coincided with my life change.
That's a long time for me. Plus, I screwed up my hair last night trying to touch up my own roots.. So time for a change! I'm ready. The blonde got me through a rough time and I will remember it fondly. And probably return to it someday. But for now I need to get back to something a little more natural. If I can remember what that is..
Thank you for your time, this urgent hair update was brought to you by G**gle Maps. Now back to my regularly scheduled shoots.

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There's a helicopter following me. The gig is up. Everyone knows that G**gle is really a front for the CIA. They found me out..

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Don't let anyone ever tell you there's no crying in photography. Cause there is. Only one melt down today. And it was mine.

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Wow, that bad huh? That's ok, I like them and they make me happy. I've been working for 3 whole weeks and one day. Isn't there an official holiday coming anytime soon? I guess not until Thanksgiving, huh? Boo. How do you working women do this every day? I do admit though, the extra income is much needed and almost worth it. But my kids and house need me.
Josh said I could quit. That was so sweet. But I won't. It was nice to hear though. What a different person I am today, compared to a year ago. I worked a full time job, came home, made dinner, made chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, did dishes, and hung out with my family. Doesn't even sound like me. Jordan says I've changed alot. She described how I used to be. It was sad. I told her I was just depressed. Funny thing is, I still am, it's just evolved and taken a different form. This one's much more productive.

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okay, here's round one, let me know what you think of these 2 arrangements. Very similar I know, but working with the same bunch of flowers.. Also, tell me what you would expect to/or be willing to pay for, an arrangement like this, then I'll tell you how much they cost to make. (They're all real flowers and greenery planted in florist foam)

I did a shoot at a florist today. Totally fell in love with the place. The flowers, the smell, the cut stems on the ground, it enveloped me. I want to do that. I have been saying it for years, but tomorrow I'm gonna try it. I just need a few supplies, and then I'm gonna start making arrangements for my house to start with, and see how I like it. Or if I'm even good at it. Of course I will photograph the results and you can tell me what you think. Even if it's, " wow, Shileen, that's ugly and boring", all feedback will be appreciated.
I need to find a real flower market and a source for unusual vases...

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It's 10pm, and I'm still not home yet. I miss my house. Got called to shoot the ladies event at church last minute, right after work. Now at dinner. It's actually cold outside.
Captain obvious, I know..

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My fire has burned out

I am sooo over this G**gle gig. I am thankful for work, don't get me wrong. But I didn't get to talk to anyone today. It was silence 90 percent of the time. Aside from introducing myself to the owners, my vocal chords have been on hiatus. No bueno para mi. I miss people. I'm becoming anti-social. I'm sooo lonely. But by the time I get home, I don't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone outside of my family. It's draining.
But, I'm gonna go drag my whiney butt to church now.

Dave Ohlerking

My hero, and a true legend, died tonight. He had just gotten off the plane in his beloved Africa. I still don't know what happened. I saw pictures just hours earlier of him in the airport. He and his wife are the founders of Childrens Cup, the organization we partner with in Africa. He is a missionary hero to me. The stories he has would rock your world. He has a book called 'Walk with Me' you should read about his work all over the globe, it will inspire you.
I love this man; he was my hero. Please pray for his wife Jean, and all of their family grieving tonight. The world has experienced a great loss, but heaven is welcoming a hero.

'the silence is slowly, killing me..'

'oh baby, I need you now..'

Week 1 complete. I am sooo excited to sleep in tomorrow; And then spend the day with my family that I have missed so much the last 2 weeks.

This afternoon at this one store, I had just finished a shoot and I was over in a corner tearing down and I turned around after packing up my gear, and saw these smiling faces watching me. They were just interested in what I was doing. It made me smile, so I grabbed my phone and snapped this. :)
I emailed it to them later from my phone and they were very grateful. They said they should put it on their website..

So I walked into this one store today and this college guy working there saw my google logo polo shirt (required) and when I introduced myself, he looked at me like I was the president. He thought I was the coolest thing ever. After I asked for his boss and told him why I was there, he immediately called the owner on the phone and exclaimed "google is here!!!" I was cracking up. Love the enthusiasm I sometimes get. If only they were all so happy to see me. My job might actually be more enjoyable.
Every muscle in my body hurts.
And the broken bone on top of my foot. And I either seriously bruised or hurt my finger joint today. And my allergies exploded today. Headache won't quit.
But guess what?!? Tomorrow's Friday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Everyone's watching, to see what you will do. 

Everyone's looking at you, oh.."

That is the soundtrack playing in my head in most places. When i walk back around a corner i can hear them talking about me and what I'm doing. You really meet some strange people walking into random businesses in Austin. I've met some seriously sweet ones and some seriously strange ones.   And despite meeting new people every few minutes, it's a very lonely job. 

"The people I meet, always go their separate ways.."

I really am out there on my own. I have  a guy on the other end of my Gchat line in California, if I have a question, but mostly it's just me. I don't like that aspect. I'd rather at least have a partner or something. There are 5 of us in Austin, but we're all in different quadrants so we'll never run into each other. Haven't seen or heard from them since California. I don't get home until around 6:15, so there's only a few precious evening hours to get everything done. I don't like that at all. I feel so out of touch and it's only been 3 days. I guess I'll get used to it. 

I taught a sweet old man how to use his google business page today. That was really cool. Met another who didn't even have a computer. And another wearing a fake handlebar mustache.    Hard not to look and continue our convo with a straight face. And then there was the comedic jeweler who wanted me to stay a while so he could pitch me all his ad ideas for me to pass to Google (um, yeah sure, I'll get right on it).  

At least my job is never the same day twice. 

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I'm still alive. Work is exhausting. I'm sure you all know that. I get it. I'm not loving this if I'm being honest. My house is a mess. I'm tired and I have a headache, so I'll post a longer update tomorrow, I promise. I love you all, thanks for checking on me.
2 days down, 148 ish to go?..

I am so not ready for tomorrow. I haven't even had a chance to unpack. I had to run video this morning and shoot photos at the 10th anniversary carnival this evening. In between I decided on a brief nap. I was just too tired to function. I really needed a recovery day. But I'm just not going to get it. Maybe I can unpack and do laundry tomorrow night. And bills? Grocery shopping? Spending time with my family? When does all that fit in? My house is a disaster. I am not ready for this. My time will be micro managed via GPS checkins, so I won't really have any down time during the day, except for the required 1 hour lunch.
I am very nervous about my first shoots tomorrow. Not sure why. The excitement about the job is definitely gone, and reality has set in. This will be a long, hard, challenging, physically exhausting assignment. But I believe this was God sent, and he won't give us anything we can't handle, so I will be ok.
I'm just scared.

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Plane broke. They 'Rerouted' me to Atlanta. And the first flight out of here isn't until this evening. What do they do? Give me a couple of meal vouchers. Oh that will make up for the lost 8 hours. I had so much I needed to do to get ready for work Monday.
I am so frustrated. I should be home by now...

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You can't see it very well in this pic, but there's a creek running through the courtyard of our building here. It's beautiful.
I passed all my shoots, so I'm official now. We all went out tonight to celebrate.
I miss home. I don't fit in here. At all. And I'm so old, comparatively. Different lifestyle.
I just want to go home.