"Life's like an hourglass glued to the table.."

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On a happier note, I get to beat up my trainer again this afternoon. :-) Soo excited. Then, since our kids social calendar is busier than ours, I have another date tonight. Second one this week. Same dude, too. ;-)

Oh, and btw all of you that are here looking for D.M. ,you won't find
any info on here about him. Ever. He is no longer a part of my life.
Google sends me the search terms people use to find my site, and the
"Shileen & D.M." searches are still almost daily. There's nothing to see
here. Just a woman trying to move on with her life.

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Have a massive headache. Gonna take a day off from the job hunt and go
run, then watch chic flicks with the girls.
I am really not liking this season. I should be getting stuff done around the house with this down time, but I'm not. I have no desire to.
I kind of miss the happy drugs. But not the side effects. Delusional can be good. But I DON'T want to go back to therapy to get them. I'm fine people, probably just PMS. Hard to tell when you've had a hysterectomy and you don't have a monthly confirmation. But I'm pretty sure, cause everyone around me keeps pissing me off. What are the odds? ;-)

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Was just asked to do a last minute road trip to Ohio on Monday. Don't
think I've ever been there..
so I said yes. Of course

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'Just when you think you've got me figured out, the season's already
changing..'

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Dear Mike the trainer,
Thank you so much for letting me punch you a whole bunch today
during our boxing workout. I hope that I didn't call you by the wrong
name, but if I did, it was only to channel the awesome power in those
really big hits towards that certain someone who's really mean. It
felt good.
However, I don't think I will ever be able to use my limbs again, and
my abs hate you.
Sincerely,
Shileen

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It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

So I was just out on the patio at Freebirds having lunch, and a tiny
baby bird just appeared to fall from the sky and with a solid thud ,
hit the ground right next to me. It seemed dead laying there on it's
side but I didn't want to mess with it in case mama was nearby. It was
very hard to enjoy lunch with this poor thing laying on the sidewalk
under me. Then right at the end of lunch it twitched and flipped up
and sat up and looked up to the sky, and then took off flying!!
That made me very happy. Just when you think something is dead, it
fights against all odds and comes back to life

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So after our fabulous lakeside drive i realized Rene had been here for
years without seeing the cool side of Austin, so i told her i was
gonna show her Austin this summer.
Everyone who visits here goes to the lake, the Capitol, SoCo, 6th
street, Amy's, the Oasis, canoeing on Town Lake, etc... And she's done
most of that. But if I had to plan just 3 days, this is where I
would take her: (Hula Hut would make the list, but we went there
tonight )
Day 1 - climb Mt Bonnell, lunch at Shady Grove, swim/people watch at
Barton Springs, shaved ice
Day 2 - Hamilton Pool ( a beautiful turquoise spring fed lagoon under
a cliff and waterfall )
Day 3 - UT drag, Tylers , Whole Earth, Whole Foods, Buffalo Exchange,
Emeralds, Tx Chili Parlour, glow bowling at the underground

Ok, locals, what am I forgetting??

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Top down cruising with Rene

So the lake was too choppy for the boat so we drove down to Hula Huts via the back windy roads. Beautiful drive, beautiful evening..

..some boys take, a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world, I wanna be the one who walks in the sun, cause girls, they wanna have fun..

wettest day ever in Costa Rica

my African children

This one is the island breadmaker.







was looking through old pics and came across this one I took of my friend Gregg in Panama in Kuna Yala with the Kuna Indian women. They are so.. colorful

Me, learning to surf a few years ago..  Wish I was doing that right now.. After 12 hours of sleep I'm actually feeling  a bit better.
Just got a call from Rene asking me to go with her to take the boat out later this afternoon. Yes! That should make me feel better. Sunshine and breaking out the bikini for the first time this year :-)

Africa
Beaches
Chocolate
Dancing
Elizabeth
Fabulous Fun
Gardens
Hawaii
Ice cream
Jedi
Kilamanjaro
Legos
Maps
Nights
Oceans
Panama Parasailing Passports Pina Coladas
Queens
Radio city music hall
S**
Travel
Ubiquitous-ness
Volcanos
Waterfalls
Xylophones
Yesterday
Ziplining

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As soon as I sat down on the couch, my body shut down. I feel positively dreadful. I think I am sick.
I'm going to see if I can not leave the house at all tomorrow, and just rest.

I am just totally wiped out from this week. Gonna have a low key night
in. Just rented Men Who Stare at Goats. Add in Chinese take out and
some chocolate and I'm set.

At Barton Creek with Heather. Just had California Pizza Kitchen, now
about to watch a fashion show. I feel so girly

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5 hours and 25 dances later, I picked up one more worn out princess. She danced with 21 guys (they have a dance card system with the tango, waltz, salsa, etc..), and she met one she really likes... Here it begins..













This is her good friend Zoe, they went together. Been friends since they were 4 years old in dance class.

'So slide over here and give me a moment, your moves are so raw, I've
got to let you know.. You're one of my kind.'
(totally unrelated to Jordan.. was just on the radio..)
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After

Pictures coming in a little while. They are so beautiful

Before

Dropped off pics at the airport. They actually aren't half bad
considering my state of being..
Now taking Jordan to have her hair done for prom tonight. Then formal
portraits for her and Zoe. Shoot, forgot to recharge camera battery...
Then taking them downtown and leaving them in the hands of teenage
boys. :-(
They better be nice to my baby

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11 hours of sleep was nice, but now back out on the road..

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Just had a nice barbque dinner in Memphis with a total stranger. I
love doing that. It's so much fun.
People instinctively need other people, It's lonely out on the road..

In other news, that was the longest work day, and my longest commute
ever. I am severely exhausted. I never made it to the beach. Too busy.
But the plane owner was fun, and he took me out to lunch and
entertained me.
Now my flight is delayed... Of course

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The plane I never want to see ever again in my life. Ever.

'.. A little voice inside my head said don't look back, you can never
look back. I thought I knew what love was, what did I know, those days
are gone forever, I should just let em go but..'

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again..
I LOVE THE SMELL OF JET FUEL IN THE MORNING!!!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

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Just set a 4:am wake up alarm. Can you say YUCK?!

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Tropical smoothie and sunshine. A great late afternoon break after a
very long day. Dreaming of dancing somewhere hot and spicy...

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It's 12:30 in the morning. I have to go to the gym at 7. Then another
super busy day. Am I sleeping? No. Playing iPhone scrabble with other
night owls. I'm gonna pay for this in the morning..

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You know you're from Texas when you can get all four seasons in one week

Crazy busy day. Those are my favorites. Usually. Just now getting home, left this morning, and I don't even have a real job. :-)
Heard some great stories, saw most of my favorite people at some point, ran into some now new clients, dreamed some big dreams, and smiled alot. Great day so far.
Sooo looking forward to the shoot in Florida on thursday though. Hoping for a slight weather disaster to come, just long enough to miss my return flight so I can go to the beach for a little while :-)
a girl can hope..

"Well, I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you..."

I like applesauce. And turtles. 

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So do you ever look at people and imagine what their world looks like? What happens in their home, how their family interacts, etc? I do that all the time. Or when I'm driving, and like a black towncar is following me, i pretend it's someone after me and I must lose them..or do you have a running dialog of another you or another life running in your head all the time? Sometimes I get so caught up in all the drama in my head that I forget where I'm going. I'm a day dreamer. Bad. I play out endless scenarios all day. Maybe that explains the vivid dreams at night.  Just a continuation...
I need to go to the ocean. It's quiet in my head there. Something about the sound of the waves and huge vastness of the water calms me. And I am at peace. It also brings a small piece of sadness for some reason. Never understand that one.. But it's always a good thing.

Sitting in a cold smelly room waiting for hannahs foot to be xrayed
from an old volleyball injury.
Gotta go find shoes for jordans ball gown next. The dance is Friday
night.

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My fav song won "song of the year" at CMA. Congrats Lady A! (Need You
Now) probably helped by the hundreds of times I quoted it on my
blog... ;-)

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Pilgrims Progress

Ok, no, I'm not pouting. Just didn't feel like bringing the rest of
the world down.
There will be another way for me. At least I have the joy of knowing I
helped change a town in Africa. Now maybe it's time to move on to
another one. I just loved that one so much.. Its name was my nick
name x 2! And it was on the ocean! And it had hills and valleys.. And
the kids were so fabulous. I laid down among them and they did my hair
instinctively after a long game of parachute ball. I have pictures of
them climbing all over me. But I digress. The kids are wonderful all
over Africa, I'm sure.
Back here in suburbia the girls opening night was last night. It was
quite the departure from the plays of the past 2 years (Little Women
and Pride and Prejudice). This year is a musical based on Pilgrims
Progress under the direction of a different teacher. Pretty much the
only thing going for it was the fact that my daughters were in it! My youngest,
Hannah has the lead and gets to sing alot of solos. She is a fabulous
singer. Especially for the age of 13..
On our way to performance #2 right now.
I got a photo gig in Florida next Thursday. Shooting a corporate jet
Charlie Bravo is brokering. That'll be sweet.
Gotta go
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So they just announced that Mel and Diane are moving to Africa to be
the pastors in Xai Xai on June 1. During the announcement I began to
just weep. I knew they were going, but something about the way he was
telling about it , brought up all the old feelings of writing the
proposal for this church 2 years ago and the excitement and
anticipation of all God was going to do there , and how I was going to
be right in the middle of it all. I was so happy then. Now I can't
even visit.
I had to leave the sanctuary when he was done praying I was so upset.
With myself. I'm disgusted with myself that I managed to screw up
something that I wanted so badly. I was so close to living the dream.
I carried that vision and then let it go because of weakness.

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Lest you drop one of them on your foot..

Don't text and CHI

So after going to sleep around 1, i got up at 6:40 to go work out with
Rene and her trainer. There are very few women I would get up that
early for, and not be going to the airport...
It was a great workout with alot of kettle bell and boxing. I will not
be able to walk tomorrow. Right now I'm sitting in Curts vacant office
getting some stuff done before our 3rd attempt at having Bible study
this week. Last nights try turned into a long, but great conversation.
Thank you God for good friends to get through life with

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"In the day, in the night
Say it right, say it all
You either got it, or you don't
You either stand, or you fall"

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First run of the year - brutal
Good music to get you through it - priceless
'Truth be told, I miss you..
Truth be told, I'm lying..
When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell..'

Going to the park

I hate Mondays. I don't feel like blogging, talking, or doing anything. My eye is swollen. I don't know why. I want to be on a beach.

A beautiful sight

Astrophysics hurts my brain

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It has been a mega long day. Jordan started her formal dance training
today for the homeschool prom. The kids all have to take dance classes
to be let in. The guys all have to wear tuxes and we have been
shopping all day for 'the dress'. We finally found it a few minutes
ago. It looks just like Belle's yellow ball gown in Beauty and the
Beast. She looks like a princess, which is fitting for her. She LOVED
that movie when she was little. She's so grown up...

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Kids are off to Bastrop again, with a different mom doing carpool.
Josh is busy, as usual, so I'm off to go get Heather for a girls night
out

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' words, without a sound, are coming from your eyes '
They say they're the window to the soul. How many people do you know
who can look into yours and know how you're doing? Or see you across
the room and know you're not ok..

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Exhibit B

Kicking it old school in the middle of nowhere. They have 4 movies to
choose from!!!

Just had lunch with my mom, now headed to meet with Charlie Bravo art
director to show him the photos from the shoot and talk about art
drection for the calendar. Then have to have the girls in Bastrop at 5
for a dress rehearsal. Then find something to do for 4 hours in
Bastrop...

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Mass baptisms on the hill tonight. No joke. Hundreds. Including MY
DAUGHTER! I walked in and saw Hannah in the crowd. Didn't bother
telling her PARENTS! That's ok , I saw her first one a few years
ago... Jonathon has those kids fired up, I love it!

Exhibit A

random time: my favorite "gotta have some now" foods of all time (not in order)
*blue bell mint choc chip ice cream
*movie theatre popcorn
*black olives
*chocolate
*colada/pineapple smoothies

don't you feel better now that you know?

..I won't let you down, just need a second to breathe..