..on the road..

Today we got to tour the Pentagon, see the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, and the national archives. Very cool. Tomorrow is the White House tour, spy museum, and some Smithsonian's. Then we move on to New York City!

We're leaving early tomorrow morning for Baltimore, DC, NYC and Boston.
If you think of us pray for us for safe travel and good family time :-)

friends

So what do you do when your inner circle of trusted friends dissolves? You stand in an auditorium packed full of women and feel completely alone.
I miss the days of having someone to call to go shopping with me, or go to a movie on a monday for no reason. Do you know that in the last few weeks I went to a movie by myself for the first time ever? I also ate out at a restaurant alone for the first time. I miss terribly the days of regular girls night outs, wimberly first saturday market days, thinking my phone was broken if I hadn't heard from people in a given day,and the love and support only girlfriends can provide. Last night was a painful reminder of that lack in my life right now. I don't understand this season. Seems like when you've been in a valley is when you would need friends the most. But I guess that's where you find out who your real friends are. And who wasn't. And those whose time has come to move on. So as I climb out of my valley and see my future on the horizon, I find myself standing alone(for the most part). It has been good only in that I have had to rely on God alone.
This last year has been really hard on me, but it is time to rebuild.
Maybe this is Gods plan for me to rebuild that inner circle with an even stronger one. I am praying for women who inspire me, who will lift me up and not step on me if I fall again, women who challenge me, who will strengthen my walk, and women I can build up. I want relationships that become a force to be reckoned with.
Thank you Lord for new seasons. Thank you for getting me through this time. I thank you in advance for the relationships that you have ordained, now coming to pass. Thank you for your faithfulness, and for always knowing what I need. I love you.
In Jesus' Name, Amen

So the girls and I went to our first gun show Saturday. That was an experience that doesn't need repeating. Then we took the girls to Judge Wrights and we taught them how to shoot. They were scared, but they did it. I was very proud. Since there are guns here at the house, we wanted them to know how to use them and how to be safe with them.
...on a lighter note...
just checked the weather for our trip.. it'll be in the 60's most of the time. High of 72 in NYC. Even colder in Boston. :-) ..time to break out the sweaters..

again

God is so faithful to us. This last week I have only focused on my relationship with him and growing closer to him, and wouldn't you know it, he has begun to fix problems around me. He knows what we need and he knows he's the only one who can fix things. Putting my eyes on him is the only way. He blessed us big time yesterday. Above and beyond what I expected. I just smiled and thought, now he's just showing off.
(in a good way) :-)
Today I had a brief weak moment while on the road working and habitually reached for my phone to call a friend for help, but right then I heard a Christian song on the radio say "just call my name and I'll be there", so I put down the phone and realized yet again, that He is the only one who can ultimately help me. So I cried out to him instead and he heard me and showed up.
...It's a shame it's taken me 16 years to figure this stuff out...

God is so faithful to us. I love how He knows what we need even when we don't. He just gives us so many chances to get it right. I want to do more than just get it right; I want to be on the list of favorites. For Him to look and me and smile and say, man I love that one, she is a woman after my own heart right there. Watch her go.
That is my one desire right now.

The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-Charles DuBois

thursday

So last night I maybe got an hours sleep, if that. It could have been the caffeine at dinner at 10pm. It could have been the leg cramps, or it could have been just the excitement of the possibility that this peace and joy might stick this time and I can move on towards my next opportunity. I have to get it right. This is it. I feel it's my last shot before I get passed over. I really want to go from glory to glory not valley to valley anymore. My time in this current wilderness has been served.
Work today was long and hard because I had to get fridays stuff done today as well since I will be at the Maxwell event tomorrow. Running on no sleep and caffeine pills might make one irritable, but not me today. I was happy as a lark. I know I haven't arrived at where I need to be, but I have determined myself to fight for it. After something snapped in me yesterday, I just resolved myself to not give in. No matter what comes my way. I don't want what was given to me to do , to be left undone when I die.

Fired up and Growing up

Man something snapped in me today. I had just been talking to my friend Gregg and was typing a reply to him and as I was writing, it just clicked what was happening to me. I know I am called to do great things globally and Satan will stop at nothing to derail me. Including making me believe I am alone and away from God. Just because God is silent does not mean I am alone. If I can't stand up and fight for my own relationship with God, how can I stand and fight for anyone else's?
I read this today.. "The believer never has to reacquire God’s forgiveness due to personal sin because God’s Word declares that God’s wrath toward the believer’s sin was satisfied completely at the cross."
He may be quiet, but I don't believe He has left. I think He's just waiting to see what I do next. I have to prove I'm a grown up and can handle my own trials before he is going to let me loose to help others with theirs. I am excited about the visions and ideas He has given me lately that I hope are an indicator of what I get to do in the near future if I can withstand this test. It's really exciting stuff that can impact the world. The question is, am I strong enough? Only with His grace and power.

?

So do you believe that God has one true path for us, and if we were to ever find it and not stray, we could carry out all that God had laid out for us in our life? Sure there would be trials so we could grow and rely on Him, but it seems like there would always be perfect peace and joy there... Cause that was the plan He had for us when we were born. Only along the way each little decision we make that wasn't quite right caused us to divert from it just a little bit, but over the years you're so far from where you started, that it seems He would have to hit a giant cosmic restart button somewhere to get you going in the right direction. On the other hand, He knows all the stupid choices we're going to make and probably accounts for them even in the grand plan, right? So in that case, why would you struggle with bad choices, and not just let them happen and just trust that He is in control. It doesn't work that way does it. When you're not where you're supposed to be it's like you're in this dense fog and you see your life from the outside looking in. Almost in slow motion, but you don't know how to get back in or where you'd steer yourself if you could. It's like you're standing still amidst the chaos of life all around you, and no one sees you standing there. Everyone is so busy with their own existence and troubles to stop and point you in the right direction. You're lost and you look up and beg for Him to come and rescue you, but all the while knowing you got yourself where you are and He wants you to find your own way out. You beg for help and are met with silence. You feel unable to beg further because of your unworthiness. Sure your sins are forgiven, but that doesn't mean they don't cost anything. He pays the price - but it does cost us something. Distance.

it's wednesday

The lake was fun - but I am very sore. Being pulled behind a fast moving boat on a tube uses more muscles than it appears to...
We had the Vogel clan over for dinner last night, and we started talking about/planning our upcoming road trip to move these guys. I think everyone's getting pretty excited..
I can't wait to lay in Central Park in the grassy field and look up at the leaves just starting to change color, and the cool breezes of fall rolling in... it's gonna be awesome!