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Monday, September 08, 2008
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So do you believe that God has one true path for us, and if we were to ever find it and not stray, we could carry out all that God had laid out for us in our life? Sure there would be trials so we could grow and rely on Him, but it seems like there would always be perfect peace and joy there... Cause that was the plan He had for us when we were born. Only along the way each little decision we make that wasn't quite right caused us to divert from it just a little bit, but over the years you're so far from where you started, that it seems He would have to hit a giant cosmic restart button somewhere to get you going in the right direction. On the other hand, He knows all the stupid choices we're going to make and probably accounts for them even in the grand plan, right? So in that case, why would you struggle with bad choices, and not just let them happen and just trust that He is in control. It doesn't work that way does it. When you're not where you're supposed to be it's like you're in this dense fog and you see your life from the outside looking in. Almost in slow motion, but you don't know how to get back in or where you'd steer yourself if you could. It's like you're standing still amidst the chaos of life all around you, and no one sees you standing there. Everyone is so busy with their own existence and troubles to stop and point you in the right direction. You're lost and you look up and beg for Him to come and rescue you, but all the while knowing you got yourself where you are and He wants you to find your own way out. You beg for help and are met with silence. You feel unable to beg further because of your unworthiness. Sure your sins are forgiven, but that doesn't mean they don't cost anything. He pays the price - but it does cost us something. Distance.
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2 comments:
Ouch. I'm not really sure if I have the right to respond, since I only know you in passing, and my walk with --and earlier, without-- God hasn't been exemplary. But I do relate to what you're saying. Since I'm not depressed or beating myself up (as I'm prone to do) about something I've done, either not up to God's standards or out-and-out wrong, I'll try to say something useful.
In Junior High, I used to fly paper airplanes with my friends at lunchtime. We sat on the top bleacher and challenged each other to get our planes to land on specific rows of bleachers, or go through the railing, or go for distance, or reach a destination in a number of throws, like golf. With wind and the inherently imperfect design and construction that eighth-grade boys produce, we rarely hit the target on the first try. But we did put up our moistened fingers to sense the wind in the Hudson River Valley, then pinch or curl a trailing edge on one side or the other to compensate.
The adjusted planes were no longer true and straight, even by our standards. Nor would they ever come close to flying in a straight line in ideal conditions. But these weren't ideal conditions, and we aimed out warped planes against the driving winds, throwing with all of the force that our geeky little arms could muster. Whichever of our planes reached it's target first, we all admired the fabricator of the now-dirty, often-soggy mess of paper that defied all physical forces to prevail.
I like to think that we're like those imperfect airplanes: We don't go straight, and we don't always land gracefully, but we're crooked for a reason. God's tweaked us in ways that may defy our own wisdom, and thrown us headlong and alone into strong and uncaring winds that may seem to toss us about. Remember that it's for a purpose, and a plan, and no matter how many loops and crashes, and unpredictable turns we make, it's to get us to where we're supposed to be, God's much, MUCH better at this than eighth-graders, and His planes end up where he wants them to go.
I hope that makes some sense.
j-p that's an excellent analogy.
I am going to have to think about this for a while.
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