So I passed all of my morning photo shoots. I will find out tomorrow how I did on the afternoon ones. Not everyone passed the morning. I'd say about half of us. Tomorrow is round 2.
My back hurts. Bad. Tomorrow's gonna be tough. This gear is heavy and it has to be ON you or in your grasp at all times.
On a positive note - I'm being paid, I'm eating well, I haven't cooked, cleaned, or done laundry in 4 days, and I have a big comfy bed all to myself :)

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I am so completely exhausted. And we haven't even gotten to hell day. That would be tomorrow. So much to remember. And so much I can't talk about.
I must sleep.

Today was long. This job isn't gonna be as easy as I thought. It's also going to be alot more structured.
We have to pass 6 photo shoots over the course of the week to keep our job. The shoots have to pass their quality control department. He said no one has ever been through here and not failed at least one of the shoots.
The highlight of my day was riding the Google bikes around the parking lot. :)
Oh, and I got a Google car too.(for 3 of us to share) But we have to stay within 10 miles of our hotel. After we got out at 6 we headed straight for In-N-Out burgers. It was good, but certainly didn't live up to all the hype.
Oh, another highlight at one of the lunch cafeterias was this thing called Liquid universe or something. It was google Earth on steroids. It was a semicircle of flat screens so you're 'in' the program and you can fly anywhere you want with this little joystick. Then you can get down to street level or whatever and it's like you're there. VERY cool. I wanted one. But after about 5 minutes in it I started getting nauseous. As did the others.
I have to go study and write a sales pitch now. Goodnight.

Met some more new Google photogs on the shuttle from San Francisco to Mountain View. Then met some more from Austin in the lobby. We went to lunch and explored downtown Mtn View. Scoped out some future dinner locations. Then I went to the pool pictured below, but it was COLD. So went in the hot tub instead. Now I'm bored and waiting to meet up for dinner :) There is really nothing to do in this little town. I need a car..

Pilot did some zigzags and crazy turns so both sides of the plane could see Yellowstone

I just left Salt Lake City, Utah. Well I guess by the time you read this I'll be in San Francisco. I'm so tired. I'm not real perky after 4-5 hours sleep. The mountains here are really brown. For one of the first times ever, I didn't want to come on this trip. I am sad about leaving my family. I belong there. And I am beyond grateful that I have finally remembered this truth.

Worked at the travel agency today. Got my own email. Shileen@3Dcruiseandtravel.com , so call me or email me with all your travel needs! Please!!! :)

I got the job! After a 22 minute phone interview with a guy from Google last night, the agency called this morning and said Google would like to officially offer you the job!! Now the more in depth  background checks start and then I'm supposed to get my travel itinerary today or tomorrow.
Finally I can rest. For 4 days anyway.. :)

Today was pretty uneventful. I started job number 2 at the travel agency. I have a huge learning curve to get through there, but it's going to be fun.
I filled out a ton of paperwork for the Google job that I still don't have. They are now doing a DMV report, extensive background check, job history check, drug screen, lie detector test, ok I'm kidding about that one, but you'd think I was joining the CIA or something! And I still don't even know if I have it! They will get results and my full work up then do a phone interview this week if they still want me after finding all of my felony convictions (again, kidding).
Then, if I get the green light on Thursday 'ish', supposedly I am then booked on a flight out of here on Sunday for training that begins on Monday in Cali.
So now we wait. And pray that there isn't another Shileen Karnes out there getting into all sorts of trouble with the law. As opposed to my kinda trouble ;)
On a completely different topic, I have taken up cooking. I used to do it occasionally, but it was mainly Josh or take out. But for some reason I finally have taken an interest in it, and I'm having fun! I've actually been using my crock pot alot on busy days, and we haven't eaten out in over a week! This is huge for me. I've never been very Betty Crockerish. But my family and friends seem to really be enjoying my creations :)
If I start dressing bad or you see me buy a doily, somebody please just shoot me.

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Tomorrow is a big day. A beginning of another era. I'm going to work in the morning at the travel agency. We're doing a trial run this week as she is trying to decide whether to hire me or a good friend of hers who desperately wants the job. I'm kind of glad I'm not making any commitments with them before I find out more about the Google job this week.
I must say, I'm concerned about how everything's going to get done around here with me working. I'm going to have to get better at time management. Quickly.

It's all gonna be ok. I know it will.

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So I kind of think I got a job today. I'm not 100% certain, but I think I work for Google now. It is a 4-6 month contract job. If I accept the assignment at the meeting on Monday, then from what I understand I will be shipped to California promptly for training. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details, as you can see. But so is my recruiter. I'll know more Monday, but so far I'm pretty excited.

This week has been a bit strange. One of those weeks where you feel you're in an alternate universe.
Jordan has been driving everywhere... school,church, store, where ever we go pretty much. She has come soo far. She should have her license next month, right before her 17th birthday. That will be a big help, but also entirely frightening.
So yesterday I had a horrible time at the post office. I was mailing 300 and something calendars for Rene, (because these were the address rejects from the 2500 plus ones the printer shipped for us)..  anyway 300 calendars is alot. Heavy. Very Heavy. It was VERY hot also. I was in business attire after returning from a job interview and I was trying to load these 3 HEAVY boxes onto my little dolly. I could barely lift them. After a sweat filled 10 minutes, I loaded them, only to find the dolly wouldn't move. Too much weight. So one by one I carried them into the post office. Nearly killed myself. Finally on my last trip a man follows me and offers to help. I was grateful. At this point I'm sweating so bad, I had to take off my dress jacket, and was just wearing a little cami. I didn't care. Then I get up to the counter, and guess what? No auto meter. So I have to stamp every one by hand and not just one stamp, but 5!!! "You've got to be kidding?" was my reply. "Nope." was his.  A fellow customer was standing near me shaking his head. He smiled and said I wish I could help you stamp them, I really do, but I have to go. After considering the fact that it took 2 hours to affix the address labels to these things, and realizing it would take 4-5 to do the stamps, I decided to take them back home. So I flirted my way into him carrying them all out for me. He was a sweet man.(the customer, not the postal worker) When I got them BACK into the house,  I paid Hannah to do the stamping for me. :) I hate the post office. I hope they do go out of business (and the government doesn't bail them out.)

Tomorrow could be eventful on the job hunt. Waiting to hear back on 2 jobs, and one more VERY interesting possibility came about late this afternoon. I will divulge more tomorrow after I know more. :)
Oh who cares, I'll tell you, it's GOOGLE!!!! Don't know alot yet, just a message from a recruiter, but by the time I got the message a minute later, she was gone for the day.
Anticipating a good day. Believing God has my path laid out for me.

 

The calendar is finally out. Pretty cool. (For those that are new, I took all these pics.)
It's going to every general aviation airport in the United States.

'..I'm never gonna dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm .."

So after Sundays long, rambling post, I got to thinking, how hard hearted I've become. I really am a hurt, bitter, angry, disillusioned lady. When I went downtown for that outreach Saturday, I am ashamed to admit this, but my heart felt nothing. It didn't break for these people the way it should have. The way it did in Africa. Before.  Have I really lost it? That passion for humanity, loving those who need help? The possibility scares me. Later that day however, we passed a lady in a truck and she was covered in tattoos, had a butch haircut, and was smoking a cigarette. Josh commented on her appearance and I took a look and said that I thought it was just her defense mechanism. She had developed this hard exterior to protect herself. She is probably so severely hurt, that this is her only way to protect herself. And that deep deep deep deep down, she is a princess wanting to be rescued and proven wrong. I actually got a lump in my throat. Go figure.



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So the kids have disappeared, Josh and Chase are working on a guitar, and I am fighting to stay awake. Sundays are tiring, but when I take a nap, I can't get to sleep that night. I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop, and my pillow is calling out to me, taunting me to set down my laptop and close my weary eyes. But I will not succumb!!
I recently started a secret, pen name blog. You won't find it, so don't bother trying to look for it. My name isn't attached to it anywhere. You would have to know me REALLY well to find it. And don't ask, cause I won't tell you where it is either. This blog here has so many unknown(to me) readers that I do feel like I have to be very careful what is said. I will continue this blog here as my main blog, and the other is just bonus material for those who know me well enough to find it.
I want to always be an encouragement and a testimony to our loving, faithful God. He has rescued me from myself and redeemed me more times than I wish to remember. He has always come after me, no matter the depth of hell that I've gone to. He never let me go. And I want everyone here to see my full walk, from hell, to not just redemption, but to 100 fold blessing from where I started. I want my life to be a miraculous wonder, so that those caught in the pit of hell, can see first hand, that there is redemption. There is life after a royal failure. I have always been honest, and been an open book with you all. My affair shattered me and humbled me, and I am all about sharing my story.  However, I have graduated to the place of not always disclosing it right away anymore. Where as a year ago, I felt that every new conversation had to have a disclaimer attached, like , yeah, you can talk to me, but be warned, I was just awarded the scarlet 'A', so you may not want to risk an association. And now, I have met new people, that have no clue. And they may never. Unless we get to the point in our relationship where either the testimony is useful, or it's just the right time. Alot has changed over this year in that regard. But I will never be ashamed to tell my story or answer questions. You can always approach me and ask anything you want. I have learned alot, and would love to share my experiences.

I miss my old friends, I really do, but I don't know if they'd even recognize me anymore if they sat down to talk to me. I am not the same. I have forgotten how to be bold, and fearless.
I don't want to be seen anymore. I just want to disappear.  I'm content to just lurk in the shadows and just get by. Dreaming has been replaced with mere survival. How's that for truth for you? I obviously still have a long way to go in this process. Unless part of the reason for this whole season was to change part of my personality. Maybe in that case, I'm there! But I'm so bored with my current self, I wouldn't even be reading my own blog anymore.. I'm very surprised to see that you all are still here!
I really felt like I took a step out towards what I wanted, and then screwed it up so bad, that I will never try again. I don't ever want to feel that kind of pain again. I almost didn't make it. I just want to stick my head in the sand and hurry up and finish out this life. I had my shot, and I missed. Sucks to be me. Hmm. So there. Yeah, not so fast Satan. Maybe I'm like the energizer bunny. Yep, it keeps going, and going, and going..   They may say no, I say it's just a matter of time. I can outlast you. Who would have put money on me still being here, this time last year? Not many I'd bet. But I keep showing up, week after week, don't I? I'm not like the rest who disappear without a trace. I would have made a terrible spy, huh?
Yeah, I'm talking in circles and confusing the tar out of you, and you may be thinking, hmm, which one is she??  Yeah I'm both. Depends on the day, or even the hour ;) I'm a woman, that's how it goes.
But guess what?! You've kept me up another half hour... so thanks!!
:)

Here are just a few of the many pics I took at some of the serving outreaches our church did today. These are from the downtown homeless distribution and the round rock flood relief one. Celebration helped dozens of families clear out their homes this week. Being the hands and feet..
Josh, meanwhile, got a couple of our home projects done, before we all headed to his parents for his dad's birthday party and Texas game viewing.
I am so tired, I'm going to bed at 10 pm. Unheard of. I am getting old..

What a long day. Interview/meeting went very well this morning. We sat and chatted for 2 hours. I'm pretty sure she's gonna hire me, but she wants to talk to her business coach next week first. I think it's going to be a fun job, but, it's just not enough hours yet. So now I'm back to hunting for a part time job.
After the meeting I went over to the Cannons(flood victims) to see how I could help. It was worse than I thought it would be. You walk in and it's just mud. Everywhere. They're in the process of hauling out anything that could possibly be salvaged. But there's not much. They lost everything you can think of, computers, phones, pictures, books, etc.. Some stuff is being found and may be able to be saved. I worked all afternoon on rescuing pictures from broken and muddy frames, and drying them out. Also worked on trying to salvage some of Karey's comic book collection. They are all spread out in my garage drying. It may not seem like a big deal, but it's something that's left, when not much else is. At one point as I was leaving, their daughter Sharayah came running out of the house excited that she found a favorite pair of Converse in the mud. I took them and told her I would handwash them myself and get them back in shape. Poor kid was crying just minutes earlier because she had to load up her precious books that she loves so much, that were now ruined. She thinks there's nothing left of her possessions. I can't even imagine what they are dealing with emotionally. I mean, yes, as Christians we shouldn't be tied to our earthly belongings, but as a parent, who doesn't want to be surrounded, as we get older, by things of our past. Heirloom furniture, pictures of our heritage, our relatives, our kids baby pictures..                  
It's just devastating.
It has got me to thinking about making what they call a 5 minute box. If you had less than 5 minutes to get out of the house in an emergency, everything vital is in it. I guess you would have copies of your important documents, your passports, birth certificates, a selection of baby photos, or copies at least. Things you just can't imagine losing. Irreplaceables. That would be a hard box to make. Other than your family, which obviously wouldn't fit, what would you label as "can't live without" Other than pictures and passports and birth records, I guess everything else is pretty easily replaceable. My pictures on my harddrive would be lost. (I guess I need to make a monthly back up and stick it in the "box".) I suppose I would just lose all the countless photo albums and photo books, cause there's no way to fit them.  But I can replace the computer, my camera, my clothes, the furniture. I'm thinking  this box would also have to be fireproof and waterproof. Ok, now I'm just thinking out loud. Sorry.
I would miss my chair. And my huge globe, and my sword, and my large metal boat, and airplane. But I could walk away. Can't take them with you when you die anyway.
Ok, well now that I've totally uplifted your spirits, I'm gonna let you go.  I have alot of reading to do about the travel world because my soon to be boss has sent me a bazillion links on articles I should read.
GN

Got to listen to Fred Markert (a YWAM director) tonight. He was speaking on missions of course. So not cool to fire me up again. Just when I had managed to bury it deep, far far away.
I miss the crazy extraordinary moves of God, and the boldness you have when in a foreign country. I miss the live changing events. I miss doing something really real, and tangible.

I know, taking care of my family is real.
And more important than anything.

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183 was shut down this morning, now 1431!! That's a first! Our neighborhood is the detour..

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So the leaks -  looks like Hannah's ceiling leak is from the attic vent, which is right above her room. The sideways rain and wind must have lifted the cover and let the rain in. The attic isn't flooded, which is the good news. Only bad news is we need a different vent, more caulk, and some drywall replacement. As for the other leaks, they are window issues. Looks like they all need to be recaulked and some drywall replaced. Recaulking our second story windows above that driveway will be a challenge. But the drywall, Josh can handle. We've had to do that before when he fell through the floor of the attic.
We got off pretty good compared to some of our neighbors further down the creek. There is some benefit to living on a hill..

Stresssssed. but grateful.

 

Our Brushy 'Creek'

please pray for our dear friends who just bought their home... these are the same people I have posted about in the past whose son was in a horrible accident that nearly cost his life. And if you aren't from around here, please pray for this rain to stop!! Several church members lost their homes last night..

"Gina Schaffer Cannon Hate to have to post this on FB but the Cannons could use some prayers. Our house was destroyed in the flood in the middle of night. We have lost our cars, our phones, EVERYTHING. All of us and our kitties are safe @ my in-law's but we have a long road ahead. Won't be reachable until further notice...please just pray! Thx"

Ours is much less traumatic, but still a problem. We have several leaks, and I don't even know where to start..  Some of it appears to be coming from the attic, then down into Hannah's room. Josh says there's nothing he can do until it stops raining. I don't like that answer.

All is well in the Karnes house. Hannah is happily playing her grand piano. School is done for the day. It's raining like crazy, and I got to have lunch with my fabulous mom, and I have girls night tonight.

This weekend, I got to run camera in two different services. I graduated to the main sanctuary, due to an emergency need.( i.e., someone else didn't show up)  :) That was fun. I'm gaining some very valuable experience doing this. Oh, and governor Perry came to first service. That was cool worshiping in the front row with him.

I'm getting pretty excited about my job "discussion" thursday morning with the travel agency friend. I think I can help grow the business in the group travel area. I can just imagine planning adventure travel tours, humanitarian trips, mission trips, etc.. Hopefully she agrees. Then I would just need one more part time job for the time being.




Yesterday Josh and I went for a 4+ mile walk/jog on this new trail by our house. I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but a few weeks ago while kickboxing with Josh I hurt the top of my foot. I thought it was just a bruise at first. But after this last adventure, I'm pretty sure it's not. May have a hairline fracture or something. Ouch. Dunno, a problem for another day.. it's not going anywhere.
            Sometime over the weekend we watched "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" with the girls, I had forgotten how funny it was. Great movie for families with teens. (some bad language)
            I'm sitting here in my study watching tropical storm Hermine do a drive by, and guess what, my window sill is wet. It's not supposed to be wet. The rain is supposed to be outside. ((sigh))

Well that was a rough night. Being traumatized and clingy, she slept with me. Every time she moved, I woke up. I woke up alot. Since she's physically fine we're trying to keep her busy today and get her mind off of things.
Did some shopping, got Josh a haircut, lunch at Chipotle, now Whole Foods. Then watching the game with Chase and Michael, who is home from Waco for a visit.
Go Horns!

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Well this was a little more excitement than our normal friday night. We spent the whole evening at the ER because Hannah had a seizure. She has been thoroughly checked out. CT scan, EKG, and blood tests. She's fine. That was a horrible experience. She was freaked out about some blood she saw on tv and went to lay down on her bed and a few minutes later she screamed for me. I ran in there and she kinda went nuts. Her body started convulsing, her eyes went all crazy and she started snoring with her eyes open. She was outta here. I screamed for Josh to call 911, I rolled her onto her side and tried to wake her up. When she came to, she was unaware of where she was or what day it was. But she's been fine since. The seizure was probably just an extension of the fainting. Dunno, but I don't think she should be alone for a while.
I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

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Ok now this is funny. My digital fortune cookie..

Had to show u the screenshot from today's convo about the project we were working on this week. Lol! Taken out of context we look like freaks.. or spies :)

I did data entry ALL DAY LONG. But I think the project is finally done. I hate being still that long. My knees hurt, kinda like when I'm stuck in a plane all day.
Tomorrow it's back on the job hunt. I have a meeting next friday about a possible part time gig in the travel industry. If I get that, I'll still need another part time job, because it will be very few hours to begin with, but will grow. But it is an industry I'd LOVE to work in. We'll see what happens.
I am absolutely wiped out...not sure from what.. but I am going to bed

Thanks for all the love today, friends. I appreciate your concern and pep talks. :)

I can feel the winds of change today. There's something in the air. Some job possibilities came up today, but I'm not going to talk about them cause they're just possibilities, nothing serious yet, just conversations that stirred the need for further discussion. They are all in fields I would love to work in. We will see what God is up to. He is the opener of doors, and the closer of them. I only wants what He has for me. He sees our need and my heart. I trust and believe.