Shileen's Blog

When God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit, it was totally a test to see if they would be obedient. A test He knew they would fail. But why? God sets up the laws and rules for our good. But there are tons of people like me who think they know better. How are we made to be so arrogant? What made/makes me think I can get away with anything? Sure I was/am forgiven. But the consequences we live out everyday are what kills us. He knows the pain and the toll it takes on our lives, to live against His word. Which is why He cautions us against it. It's like when you tell your toddler not to touch the stove cause it's hot, but he touches it anyway and is burned. We as a parent aren't mad at him, we mourn for the pain he is in and wishes he would have just been obedient in the first place so he wouldn't be in this situation.
But we have been failing this test since day 1 in the garden. How do we have any hope of conquering it? No one has succeeded but Jesus. So then is every day just a sliding scale of how badly we screw up? Why is playing by the rules so incredibly difficult for some of us? It seems to go against our very nature of a created being.
I meet people all the time who are content where they are and actually Desire to be told what to do and what the rules are. It simply boggles my mind. I can't even comprehend their attitude. Is our DNA really that different?
Don't get me wrong, I have become a very humbled and submitted woman over the last year and a half. I've screwed up royally and have handed over the reigns. But someday I may get them back and what if my old, rebellious nature returns? What happens on the day that I'm not feeling like pond scum? When I get some self esteem back? When my boldness and confidence returns? When I have forgiven myself? If that day ever comes, what then?
Will I be a new creation? Will I have learned to not 'touch the stove' because He says so?
I have to believe that I will.
( just to clarify - I will NEVER do what I did, again. I am mainly referring to day to day obedience and attitude adjustments. ) (I may be an idiot, but I'm not incapable of learning from my mistakes)
:)

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