It's been two years.

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blog brain dump time

*Well I still don't know if I got the G**gle job yet, but I had to sign a boat load of papers today for them, including an NDA, and temp employees code of conduct, so something tells me I may be working for them again. If it's anything like last time I'll know a couple of days before I leave. They have a blogging rule I have to follow, but I can't read what it is because the link doesn't work. Maybe I need to come up with some code words that are untraceable by the G monster :)
*Josh's last day at Crossroads is Friday, and even though he quit his job, they're throwing him a going away lunch at ZTejas. They really like him there and it says alot that they're honoring him as he's leaving. Very proud of my husband for his superb reputation. I hope Anue appreciates what they're getting. I think they do, they've been pursuing him for 18 months..
*Chase broke up with his girlfriend, so he's been hanging out with us again :) I'm glad, I've missed him. While he was otherwise attached, we never saw him. Don't get me wrong, I want to see him in a good relationship, but she wasn't the one.
*There is a chance that I will get to go to Tahiti in May for a travel agent learning conference. If my boss gets in, I will probably go along. I would learn a ton, and hello, who doesn't want to go to TAHITI?!
*Josh and I have been invited to go to the Spurs game Friday night in a suite that Mat Harris has for the night.
*Spoke to an old friend tonight for a moment, and I realized just how much time has passed. Time changes alot of things, including relationships. When you're in a growing and changing season you kind of feel like an alien in your own skin sometimes. Someone thinks they're saying hello to you, but you're just not that person anymore, and you kinda wanna say, hey Shileen's not here anymore, I live here now. Nice to meet you. Then there are other old friends I see, and nothing has ever changed. The way you feel about them transcends time, and you feel that they instinctively know where you are and who you are without having to even explain it.  They may not be in your day to day life anymore, but you know they're there, and they care. I love those people. Alot. I hope you all know who you are.

My laptop is dying, and I don't want to go find the cable right now, so I'm gonna go. I pray that God blesses each one of you tomorrow in a new and surprising way. I pray that He speaks to you and you will know His voice when he does.
Love you

My Quest

Proverbs 31:10-30 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find? 
   She is worth far more than rubies. 
Her husband has full confidence in her 
   and lacks nothing of value. 
She brings him good, not harm, 
   all the days of her life. 
She selects wool and flax 
   and works with eager hands. 
She is like the merchant ships, 
   bringing her food from afar. 
She gets up while it is still night; 
   she provides food for her family 
   and portions for her female servants. 
She considers a field and buys it; 
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 
She sets about her work vigorously; 
   her arms are strong for her tasks. 
She sees that her trading is profitable, 
   and her lamp does not go out at night. 
In her hand she holds the distaff 
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 
She opens her arms to the poor 
   and extends her hands to the needy. 
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; 
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 
She makes coverings for her bed; 
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 
Her husband is respected at the city gate, 
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 
She makes linen garments and sells them, 
   and supplies the merchants with sashes. 
She is clothed with strength and dignity; 
   she can laugh at the days to come. 
She speaks with wisdom, 
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
She watches over the affairs of her household 
   and does not eat the bread of idleness. 
Her children arise and call her blessed; 
   her husband also, and he praises her: 
"Many women do noble things, 
   but you surpass them all." 
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

 

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Galveston was amazing. This is definitely the school she wants to go to. It's like it was custom designed for Jordan. We had a great trip.
Then Michael came to visit Saturday. I think he missed us.. :)

Our new travel blog:
http://3dcruiseandtravel.blogspot.com/
I'm going to update it several times a week with travel news, articles and promos, etc..
Take a look and follow it, if you enjoy traveling.  Pretty please :)

Our dramatic fog filled dolphin cruise

A&M campus here always has this training ship parked in its front yard. (the campus is on an island in the ship channel) Alot of the guys here are Maritime majors. Most of the girls are Marine Biology majors :)

Staying at the Tremont in Galveston. LOVE this hotel. Huge old fashioned rooms, with hardwood floors and brass beds :)

 So one of my very favorite blogs is this missionary in Costa Rica. She is refreshingly honest. She uses bad language frequently, so if that offends you, don't follow the link. I ,however, read her blog regularly. This one post was particularly awesome.- 
i-have-heart-for-you

This week is gonna be crazy busy. Worked all day today, gonna work more tomorrow. Then a photo shoot tomorrow afternoon. On Wednesday I'm going on a business road trip to Dallas with René. Coming home late that night so I can go on another road trip Thursday and Friday to Galveston with Jordan for her first college visit. They (A&M Galveston) have a 2 day program that should be a pretty comprehensive tour and info session. Then on the way home Friday night we will be stopping in Houston for some prom dress shopping. But then we must get back cause Michael's coming home to see us this weekend. Says he needs to see his extended family cause he's had a rough week. :)

Hopefully this week I'll hear back from Google as well. They ran a DMV report on me today.
Must sleep now. Goodnight all

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Today was a very good day.
It all started on Sunday. Well, more like New Years. (I declared this was going to be our year of financial freedom, and was going to pray for this until it came about.) Well on Sunday, Celebration started the 21 days of prayer and fasting event and had everyone list their prayer requests so we could all agree together for the needs during this time. So I put in our financial need and we started praying, and fasting(Josh). Less than one week later and then today happens. Josh got his job. They gave him more than what he was asking for. And then the Google rep called me like an hour later and asked if I would be interested in another 1-2 month assignment. This time I'd fly out to Cali, grab a Google car, and drive it back here, do an update of Google Maps in Austin (streetview), then drive it back! Um, yes! What a great job. And I'd be done by summer, so I can spend time with the kids over break. Also if I have kidney donating surgery in the Spring, I wouldn't have to be on my feet during recovery, just driving around in a car for work.
I didn't even ask for this job, it was handed to me. (Well I haven't gotten it yet, he just wanted to put my name on the interested list if I was indeed interested.) The way this week is going though, I'm pretty certain I will.
 
To God be the glory!      I can't comprehend the love He has for us.

Then, as if 2 new jobs didn't make my day good enough, I found a red leather laptop bag at Ross for $20!! I had been looking for one for a while because I use my laptop at the travel company. Bonus!

The only downside to today was my poor Jordan. She had some weird blurred vision thing this morning followed by headaches. She begged me to take her to her marine biology class so she could dissect a stingray, so I let her go, and right after class we went in to the dr's office and spoke with a nurse, and they wanted to see her today. So we went back in later and they did a basic neuro exam and found no problems. She said it might have been a migraine, even though the headache wasn't that bad. But she wasn't quite sure. She was a little concerned, but said there wasn't really anything they could do unless it happened again. And if it does, take her to the ER so they can scan her head to make sure there's no stroke or tumor or anything.  I know God is in control. I've had to let go of worry over Hannah as well, since her seizure like activity. I just can't be with them 24/7. At some point you just have to let go and trust God. This has been hard this year. Especially with Jordan driving all over the place by herself these last few months. Just have to release them to God's care. As hard as it is to imagine, He loves them even more than I do.

Tonight we went out to dinner to celebrate and feast.

I've been laid up in bed all day. This cold I have been fighting all week finally took me down. I have watched 3 movies on my laptop, thanks to Netflix online. :)
Josh's lunch interview went very well. He's going in tomorrow or Friday for a final interview. They said they will likely make him an offer Monday morning, provided all goes as expected. The only question is whether Josh will take it. The hours would be longer, and he would have to travel overseas once a quarter, and domestically once a month. So the money is going to have to be significantly more to make it worth it. (His job now is pretty low key and flexible with working from home.) He has a minimum dollar figure in mind, and if they don't meet it, then he'll just say no.
Hannah is playing keyboard for the first time tonight in youth. I'm so proud of that girl. Gonna watch her on livestream.
I'm running camera 1 all services again on Sunday. I tried to say no to some of them, but Matt, the boss, was persistent. He says I am "doing REALLY well at it", and wants me there all day. Seemingly until the end of time.      What on earth did they do before I started??      I guess it is nice to be needed again.

Funny sign in Austin

"OVER QUALIFIED" Those are the words the guy used to describe me in my job interview today. I don't think that has ever happened before. It's another photo job, kinda like Google, but with cars. He will probably still offer it to me, but I'm not sure I'll take it, even if he does. He said car dealers are going to sexually harass me and verbally abuse me, because of how I look, and because they are jerks. He said I had to have tough skin. Hmm. I don't know if I do or not. I guess maybe I do. I've been humiliated in a huge way and lived to tell about it. I've got guts.  Maybe I am tough enough, but that doesn't mean I WANT to put myself in that situation..
 We'll just have to see how Josh's lunch goes tomorrow..

Pray for Josh Wednsesday. He has a casual lunchtime interview with a guy about a possible new job. They have been trying to recruit him for 2 years. It's always been too much travel though, until now. They've found another job for him. If he were to get it, it would seriously change things for us financially, in a good way. I can't express how excited I'm trying not to get about this. I'm hopeful and praying for favor.
Today at work we booked lots of vacation for the summer. Anyone want to go to Aruba?? Mexico? Booked Australia too.. all sounds good to me. Interested in going somewhere?? Now's the time to book - Shileen@3DCruiseandTravel.com
On Sunday while running camera 1,  I looked down and saw my body guard and I laughed, cause you know the throngs of people trying to get my autograph are getting a little overwhelming. I am a famous camera woman and all, but good grief people. I have to work. Yeah, so at least that's what was playing out in my head. My camera was roped off and there was a big guy with an earpiece standing directly below me looking in the opposite direction. So I could be accurate, and they just didn't bother me with it. :)

I need some good sleep medicine. I've tried everything they sell over the counter, but none of it works to help get me to sleep. It sort of helps me stay asleep during the night. But I lay there at night with my thoughts racing a million miles an hour while my husband is snoring within 5 minutes of hitting the pillow. I lay there and think of everything imaginable. I dream up imaginary scenarios, have non existent conversations,  and set up my alternate reality for the night. Then I have wild vivid dreams. My thought life has become more active than my real one. It's sad. I'm sad. I'm not ok.    I need drugs. Anyone have suggestions, non prescription?

Yes, I know I just posted about how I was reading, and I was, but I got distracted with my thoughts, and my laptop was nearby, so here I am again.
There was a quote in my book that got me thinking. He says he thinks there are basically 2 types of people in the world. Complainers and worshipers. And with not much circumstantial differences between the 2. He gives an example of a poor, broken, injured man who hobbles to church with pain and great effort in every step, who shows up wearing a cap that says God is Good, and he believes it. He is a worshiper. I said recently in my blog how I am longing to be around these types of people. Worship and the resulting gratitude refocuses our lives and helps us to take a step back and realize what God has done in our lives. Not one of my friends reading this is sleeping on the street, abandoned. No one has fallen so far that the love of God has not rescued them. Not even me. He saved me even from myself. His mercy and love for us is so extravagant, how can we do anything but praise? Even in the depths of our hell, he is showing us something. It is a learning experience. It is a future area of testimony.
Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, says "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." He of anyone, had reason to complain and express bitterness.
How we feel isn't determined by our circumstances. It's how we choose to react to them.
Think of Paul and Silas in prison. Were they complaining?  No, they were praising, and God moved. I can only imagine Him looking down on these men and thinking that these men really get it.
I know it's not my natural tendency to praise instead of complain, but it is my desire, and I have made progress. One thing I must steer away from though, is people who are complainers. They bring me back to that unhealthy thought process, and I just can't do that right now. I want to be around people like Paul. I am trying to retrain my brain.
I am in a few uncomfortable and scary situations right now, and I am trying to figure out what God wants me to learn from them, instead of fretting and worrying and complaining. I just want to know where He is in these places,  as opposed to accusing Him of not showing up.
Of course some of our troubles we get ourselves into. Like my recent big one. We hardly have a right to whine about those considering we put ourselves there, but I still believe that even though it was not part of Gods plan for our life, He uses it to teach us, and uses the outcome for His glory.  As long as our attitude is in check. There is so much more to praise Him for than to complain about, in our mess.
And really that is true in general.  And also is the point of this whole blog entry I suppose.

So, if you hear me complaining, feel free to call me on it. I want to be known as a worshiper above all else that I am called to be. A woman after Gods heart.

I am currently reading "In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day".  After that will be "Man's Search For Meaning".  I'm sitting by the fire on my loveseat with my favorite red blanket. Dinner is cooking in the slowcooker, I am warm, and I keep looking outside waiting for the snow.  Good way to spend a cold afternoon..

Hundreds gather to protest global warming :)

Miles, feeling snuggly

Funny notification I got after Jordan played on my phone the night before...

Randomness pt. 2

I don't like being cold. I've been home since 2:30 and I still have on 3 layers and a scarf. It just doesn't get very warm in the lower level of our house.
I am dreaming of Mexico and Central America, and all the places I've been there. The heat. The sun. The beaches. Piña Coladas with pink umbrellas in them. Crystal blue water. The smell of sunscreen. The smell of my coconut body lotion. The sand. Oh my, I totally want to be there. But alas, it is 17 degrees and I'm here.

I used to be pretty fearless. But now I have fear. And I don't like it.
I'm afraid of this blank page. I'm afraid of what I might say.

I'm becoming an introvert. Or maybe I always was one..

I'm going to a new book study group tomorrow. Why am I doing this?? Because I was asked? Why did I say yes? Maybe it's because it's what I want, to want to do. Does that make sense?

I am pursuing contentment.
I am chasing peace.
I am longing for satisfaction.
I am yearning for rest.
I am hoping for joy.

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