I haven't been to the gym in 6 months. Not since the day I got the call from the police regarding Josh's accident. But since he just got back on his bike, I figured it was time to go back to the gym. I didn't really even remember why I hadn't been back until I got on the machine that I was on when I got the call. I looked up and out the window at the familiar scene, and it all of a sudden hit me. The memory came rushing back like a ton of bricks, and suddenly I remembered why I had been gone. I had to leave.
I'm not superstitious, it's just that who wants to relive one of the scariest moments of your life over and over again. Yuck.
This of course got me to think about what my top 3 scariest moments are. And they are all nightmare material I'd rather not dwell on. So I'll take a cue from from my friend Lisa's post this morning

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

That is much better. The TRUTH is that I miraculously have a healthy husband and healthy marriage.  What is NOBLE is our pursuit to retain that marriage. What is RIGHT? My daughter leading worship from behind her piano. That is right. What is PURE? My other daughters relationship with her beloved. LOVELY? the flowers on my table that Josh brought me :)  ADMIRABLE - Josh's relentless pursuit in providing for his family. He is the hardest worker I know. EXCELLENT OR PRAISEWORTHY - that's easy. Only Jesus.

I know most parents of teens dread their child having a boyfriend/girlfriend. But not here. This is a big day for our daughter. Her first boyfriend, and with a guy who we already consider a son. It couldn't get any sweeter.
She spent the whole weekend with him, only coming home Saturday night to sleep for a few hours. She met all his Baylor roomates, and got to spend some time with them. Then on Sunday morning, he sat her down at his house and apparently (very nervously) asked her if she'd be his girlfriend. He said he was praying for the right time to begin this new chapter, and felt God telling him that this was it. He told her it wasn't official until he asked her dads permission first. So when I got the call with the news I promised to bring him along for the 4th and final Jordan exchange in Temple that night. It was pretty simple and straightforward, but the right thing to do. I love that young man.
They stayed up late into the night adding photos and updating their status on facebook. I wasn't with Michael, but Jordan was in heaven. I've never seen her happier. However this morning, getting ready for school, in her new crazed, sleep deprived, unfocused on anything but Michael ways, she forgot her notebooks and planner and brought the wrong textbooks. I was laughing at her hysterically, with her running around in a daze. She couldn't think straight; so I decided she was in no condition to drive and drove her to ACC. 
She is now napping, trying to recover somewhat from this weekend.

He already has plans to spend next weekend here with her, lucky for them it's a 3 day weekend :)

So that's it from the wonderful world of Michael drama. No more guessing and wondering. It's official, so you can stop hearing about it for a while here. :)

Ok, this is more for us to remember, than it is for public consumption, but these are some copied and pasted threads from facebook last night..

• Chris Munoz What happened to "no crossing the Jordan"!?!? :D
  
  Nice, you two. I knew it since last year; before you two ever did :)
  

  Shileen Elizabeth Hollis Karnes I did too Chris :)
  Chris Munoz Yeah.. you're how I knew, Shileen. Haha! Consider yourself blessed, Michael; to have your gf's mom see something special in you and trust you enough for her daughter, before anyone else ever thought of it.
  
  Also young Michael, consider yourself unlucky to have your gf's dad be Josh Karnes; owner of a ____load of guns and ammo! Bahahaha!
  
  

  Michael Heath Although, I could also revise that and say that I am lucky in that my gfs dad happens to be one of my closest friends who helped shape me into the person I am today. And because of that and my love for the Lord I will never abuse this new relationship with any sin and will cherish it as a gift from God himself. :)
  Chris Munoz I know you won't. And I know how big of an influence to you Josh is. You lucked out to date a wonderful girl who comes from a wonderful family. And I know they lucked out too, in having you as Jordan's boyfriend. I'm sincerely happy for you two. :)))
  

  
  Kid Karnes and Karnes kid! Here here!
  

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  

  Jordan Karnes    is sooooo happy :)

  
  

  Michael Heath ‎:) me too. Can't wait to see you this weekend. I miss you already

  
  ==================================================================

Oh what a weekend. Will go into more detail tomorrow, but short story, Michael officially asked J to be his girlfriend today, on his birthday.    :)
Here's Michaels fb status from tonight and J's comment .. too much cuteness going down around here..

Michael Heath

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!! It was the best birthday that I've ever had thanks to all my freinds and my new girlfriend Jordan Karnes! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams today. Praise God and thanks again everyone!

Jordan Karnes aawwww oh my goodness I wish I could like this status more than once :) it was an amazing day :)

This morning we finally submitted 2 college applications. Jordan did great on her essays, she is quite an amazing writer. It must come from all the books she reads. We submitted to A&M Galveston and also Southwestern today. I'm sure I probably screwed something up somewhere and we may be hearing from them before their decision. After all, I've never written a homeschoolers transcript before. But I will say, it looks good academically. She's in Physics, Calculus, Economics, Government, Grammar, Psychology and Geography, and Computer programming(i think, maybe) this year. Not a slack off senior year like most have. It will be the toughest year yet. But hopefully she'll get accepted early on and take that stress off her plate.
So now we wait. And pray that God knows what's best for our little girl.
Your will be done Lord. Only yours.

Last night was pretty cool. After dropping Hannah off for practice, Jordan and I went shopping for one of her Waco outfits for the weekend. Michael has told her the first order of business when she gets there is to meet all his roommates. Naturally she wants to look good, but not look like she's trying too hard to look good, or to look like she dressed UP. Do you know how hard it is to find a wardrobe for a teenage girl going to see a boy at college?? Oh my goodness. Clothes were flying in the dressing rooms. I would sit in the chair and reassemble everything on hangers, after being handed them, like any good slave mom.
It was fun, not just because I know these days are dwindling, but because I can see her future in her eyes, and I'm so excited for her. What she didn't know, and couldn't see, was that everything she put on didn't matter. She's beautiful no matter what, and he will proudly show that off to his friends this weekend.
Afterwards we went back to church and J decided to come with Josh and I to adult service. I knew she had outgrown youth a while ago, but she finally realized it. Plus, none of her friends were there tonight. :) (I love our church immensely, but a youth group that has 12 year olds and nearly 18 year olds in the same room, getting the same message, is messed up. These two age groups need totally different material and help. ) Anyways, she LOVED adult service. Joe was actually there and he tore it up. She laughed, she cried, she was touched, she was prayed over. It was good. I'm sure she will be back. I think J was surprised at how much fun we have over in the old folks room.
And back over in youth, Hannah got to experience her dream for the first time. She got to sing and play lead keys at the same time! Apparently this is how she envisions her future and has tasted it at the age of 14.  :)  
God is good, all the time.

"I've been high, I've been low, I've been yes and I've been oh hell no!
I've been rock ‘n roll and disco, won’t you save me san francisco?"

-song stuck in my head for days and days, love it

Kids have all started school.  Jordan is at ACC taking her dual credit classes, Hannah is upstairs prepping for her Chemistry class. It's so quiet here :(   I'm not going to complain, cause this time next year will be so much worse.
Hey, I got a new phone. I finally switched to android and got an HTC Inspire. Love it. I was about to throw my iphone into my pond, it had gotten sooo slow.
I think today I'm going to cook. And bake. Alot.  Not sure where that came from..
It looks like I'll be working tuesdays and thursdays this fall, and I'm considering becoming an actual agent, not just her assistant. What do you think? Would you guys give me your business? Most of the time an agent can save you money. If we can't beat the price, then we will match any price you find and you would have peace of mind knowing someone else is watching your reservation for price changes or itinerary changes and/or save you the hassle of researching and booking. And I would make a commission directly from the hotel or cruise ship or whatever. It doesn't cost you anything extra for our services. Interested? email me, shileen at 3dcruiseandtravel dot com. :)

Good times in Jordans world again. They went to the circus tonight, and Michael asked her on the way home if she would come to Waco next weekend for his 21st birthday party. :)  I'm guessing he wants her to meet his college roommates and friends. She is a wee bit giddy to say the least. I think a part of her thought maybe this was just summertime fun for him, but once school started, he'd be gone. But he's not. He also promised to come down for her 18th birthday in October and take her anywhere she wants for dinner. Though he said it has to be a nice, 5 star restaurant :)  She's like me and doesn't care about how fancy a restaurant is, but he just wants to impress her. It's so stinkin cute..

I can't wait for MY man to get home tomorrow night.. Hey wait, that's Tonight!
I've got to go to bed..

some pics my kids took for me :)

It's a doubly sad day around here.  Josh is in California, and Michael's last day in Austin is tomorrow. He's going back to school. Jordan has grown quite fond of Michael, and he has grown quite fond of her, or so we believe. It's all speculative at this point. Boys. (shaking my head) Apparently on their non date the other night he spent most of dinner trying to talk her out of going to school in Galveston. Wanting instead for her to be closer to home. Gee, wonder why. I don't know what's going through that boys head.  Either way my little girl is sad to lose him, and that makes me sad for her.
This whole college thing is getting a little close to home. She's starting her senior year next week. Before I know it, it'll be summer. I shudder to think how rough next August is going to be. But, this is life, it happens every day. It's supposed to be this way, right?
I wouldn't trade one day that I've been home with my girls. I am so glad I chose to homeschool them all the way. I am so blessed to have really been a part of every step of their lives. I love to just lay on my bed and talk about nothing and everything with them. I love taking days off during the school year to just go shopping or watch a movie. I love that I know each and every one of their friends. I love that they say we are strict parents, but that they don't mind that, and even like it. I love that they have high standards for people, and they expect the best in their relationships. I love that they will never settle for second best in their future mates. I love that they are a light to others. Jordans family that she babysits for has decided to homeschool their elementary aged kids after getting to know Jordan over time, and realizing they want their kids to be just like her. What an amazing testimony! I love how Hannah has inherited Josh's musical ability, and applied it to piano. She has taken off so much faster than we ever dreamed possible. She can play anything! She blows my mind constantly. And she is writing songs! Beautiful ones I might add. Her dedication is far beyond her 14 years. I can't wait to see where she goes.
Ok, I'll stop bragging on my kids, I need to go to sleep anyway. There are precious few days left of this sweet summer, and I plan to spend them with my baby girls.
Goodnight all

Jordan and her not really a date, date. Aren't they cute?

It's time to start dreaming again

Ok, it's been since Tuesday, wow that's bad. I did work alot at the travel agency last week if that counts for anything.
I've got a bad attitude and a lack of motivation. And I don't feel good. So lets blame that.
I've also picked up a bad habit. It's called Pinterest. Here's a screen shot of the website..

It's kind of like creating a catalog page of stuff you like. I'm not quite sure what the point is, but it's quite addictive. Again, not sure why..
I ran camera 1 again this morning and I have to say, I'm losing the joy of doing that. Part of it is the 7am - 1:30pm time commitment, part of it is lack of vision and direction, part of it is not feeling like a part of the team (everyone else in media is upstairs in the booth and they have gatherings and social events we aren't invited to for some reason), and a selfish part is I don't feel valued or appreciated. Stupid I know, but I'm just trying to put a 'why' to the way I feel. I know I'm there to further God's kingdom, and that's enough, but, well, I guess there should be no but, huh? Most of the serve teams only have to serve one service, but we're there all 3, and earlier than anyone else. Whine. I have to wear a black tshirt. Whine. It hurts my neck and shoulders. Whine. Ok, I'm just annoying myself now, I'll shut up. I should delete this whole stupid post. But then I will still have no post since tuesday. Crap. But now I'm stuck with a useless whining going nowhere post. Crap x2. Can I dig myself out of this hole?

I need to write a transcript for J and I don't know how.
I want to shave my head and start over with my hair.
I'm not looking forward to this whole college process.
I think I look like a boy when my hair is up.
I will need another job soon. College is expensive.
I think I'm already tired of the blonde.
The process seems quite overwhelming at the moment.
I hate my hair.

My mom just got back from the dr, and her kidneys which were once at stage 5, end stage, disease, are now at stage 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo happy for her. I just had to share :)

This sums up the Summer of 2011.. Combine it with our drought and you've got a killer August lined up

Today we did another college visit, this time to Corpus. It's a beautiful campus, but this is not her school.