Shileen's Blog

Ok, it's been since Tuesday, wow that's bad. I did work alot at the travel agency last week if that counts for anything.
I've got a bad attitude and a lack of motivation. And I don't feel good. So lets blame that.
I've also picked up a bad habit. It's called Pinterest. Here's a screen shot of the website..

It's kind of like creating a catalog page of stuff you like. I'm not quite sure what the point is, but it's quite addictive. Again, not sure why..
I ran camera 1 again this morning and I have to say, I'm losing the joy of doing that. Part of it is the 7am - 1:30pm time commitment, part of it is lack of vision and direction, part of it is not feeling like a part of the team (everyone else in media is upstairs in the booth and they have gatherings and social events we aren't invited to for some reason), and a selfish part is I don't feel valued or appreciated. Stupid I know, but I'm just trying to put a 'why' to the way I feel. I know I'm there to further God's kingdom, and that's enough, but, well, I guess there should be no but, huh? Most of the serve teams only have to serve one service, but we're there all 3, and earlier than anyone else. Whine. I have to wear a black tshirt. Whine. It hurts my neck and shoulders. Whine. Ok, I'm just annoying myself now, I'll shut up. I should delete this whole stupid post. But then I will still have no post since tuesday. Crap. But now I'm stuck with a useless whining going nowhere post. Crap x2. Can I dig myself out of this hole?

I need to write a transcript for J and I don't know how.
I want to shave my head and start over with my hair.
I'm not looking forward to this whole college process.
I think I look like a boy when my hair is up.
I will need another job soon. College is expensive.
I think I'm already tired of the blonde.
The process seems quite overwhelming at the moment.
I hate my hair.