Shileen's Blog

*So Pat Jones was one of my 3 counselors after my affair. I put her through all kinds of grief, and even lied to her. Twice. Yet, she still helped me. Well last Sunday, I saw her and gave her a hug, and she stopped me and said to me that she was so proud of me. What?! I was kind of shocked and argued a bit about how much grief I had given her, and that she was crazy for saying such a thing. But she repeated herself. Saying that she had meant to tell me for some time now how proud she was of me. Wow. I was so incredibly in awe and humbled. I guess I just don't see what she does, and can't see this from the outside.  But thank God somebody does!
*There are wildfires raging all around us. Central Tx made national news. There is complete devastation going on in Bastrop with no end in sight. Everywhere, everyone praying for rain.  Worst summer ever, weather wise.
In happier news it's in the 80's today because of a cool front. Amazingly beautiful if you can ignore the smoke in the air.
*Michael spent the weekend here. They had a wonderful first official date, and have been inseparable ever since. Kinda reminds me of Josh and I.  Like, a lot. Marriage ,apparently, has already been introduced into their vocabulary. They seem to already know. Like Josh and I did. When it's the one, it's the one, and you know. This scares me for several reasons. I don't want her to take the path that I did. I want her to continue down the path we have planned. And she promises she will, absolutely. She just can't guarantee she won't be married while doing it. I told her I can't afford a wedding and college at the same time. She laughs. I'm not kidding. So hopefully they will wait a few years, and let M get his MBA, and J get her degree. But I'm not holding my breath.
I have faith in these kids, that they will do the right thing for themselves, not for me. Whatever that may be.
Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself. They're only talking about it. But I'm a mom, I do these things.
I must apologize publicly for doing this to my mom when I was this age. This is hard stuff. Love you mom, and thank you for supporting me despite my crazy choices. I wouldn't trade any of it, however. For without those choices, I wouldn't have these wonderful, amazing children and husband. Life has a funny way of working stuff out.

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